Knocked up!
by KittyMayhem
Summary: How can I put this...it's an interesting journey getting from point a to z...and I blame all of it on the BAKA with the overactive libido! Mpreg! Crackish, Sap, OOC
1. Prologue to the madness

Knocked UP

Standard Disclaimers:

I don't own anyone in the DBZ saga, nor do I seek to gain profit from it.  
I DO, however, seek to giggle my head off in glee as I put certain characters through the joys of...

*dramatic pause*

PARENTHOOD

**Before** and _After..._

* * *

**Prologue:**  
It's your fault!!

In the beginning there was beer. Beer was the known element of inebriation and inhibitions gone to crack. It was consumed under the heavens and in personal hells, whether they be within the depths of a roaring game on the television or in the back alley of a bar after getting fired for trying to kick your bosses ass. Either way, beer was both good and evil.

Last night, however, It was evil. EVIL, EVIL, OH SO EVIL. If it could laugh, it would have died holding its sides.

Normally it couldn't get the best of people like them, but last night they had indulged...and indulged....and indulged. They had sucked down so much of it that there were fifty bottles sitting about in various places and THREE kegs sitting close to empty in various spots of the room. Oh, there was more than enough to go about. Several bodies had taken it upon themselves to relieve the beer from its prison and enjoy the blessings of beer goggles like they had never seen. It was almost too funny just thinking about the massive throb that awaited them all. If the beer could smirk, that cat from wonderland would not have been happy.

The sun came about and shined on someone. He didn't budge. The sun sighed and rose a little higher. It would be a little while before any of them rose.

*********************

The faint prattle of the television blaring from last night's game wasn't what woke him. In fact, he didn't really notice it until much later in the day. One onyx eye pried itself open ever so slowly, awareness coming into view as the fog of last night tried to relieve itself from his brain. It wasn't leaving so easily. One glimpse of the sun and he was turning over much to the protest of his head. The violent throb of the early morning regret known as a hangover kept him here in the land of the living, oblivious to what he had rolled onto. He tried to bury his head into the pillows a little more. He grabbed the one resting under his head and flung it over it only to meet solid warmth rather than the soft lump that was a mattress. A slight grunt kept him awake just a bit longer. Curiosity had gotten the better of him this once.

Blinking under the falsified darkness, he lifted his head just a bit. Strange...mattresses were not tanned. Well, not tanned and moving without just reason. Definitely not breathing either. He blinked again just to get a bit of his vision back and noticed that this was NOT the mattress he was laying upon. It was someone's chest, someone's well defined chest that didn't have a pair of fleshy mounds he could fondle drunkenly. This plain was flat as the day it was pressed into this world and toned with years of endless training. The massive pectorals rising every now and again flexed themselves in their sleep, a slight sign as to the power hidden under them. Had he not been so out of it, he may have taken a moment to notice what his wakening snorts were doing to a certain nipple just below his lips...

"Stop it before we have a complete repeat of last night..."

He barely registered that the owner of the chest had muttered it and not the chest itself. He looked up and saw nothing more than a bushel of black being rubbed tiredly as he too woke from the workings of last night. Just what the hell had gone on last night?? And why the hell was he willingly laying on this flat chest trying to find a little more sleep? He didn't really care. Sleep was sounding way too good right about now.

So was the bathroom he realized in one horrible moment. His bladder had decided that then and there it wanted to relieve itself in the worst way. The last thing he needed was to pee here of all places! It was bad enough he was lying here still! Rather than suffer the humiliation of being known as a drunken bed wetter, he rolled over and sat up only to hold in a scream as his lower back killed whatever plans his bladder had for him.

"Oh my GOD," he hissed through his muttering, "What the hell did I do last night?!"

He didn't dare stretch himself out any further than he had. He waited for the pain to subside. Did someone smack him back there? Was that why he was so out of it? Passing out from the pain of a blow would have been his first guess, had the sudden wet squish from his lower regions not alerted him. He looked down. Oddly enough everything was still in working order from what he could tell. He also noted, smirking a bit lightly, that certain parts of him were exposed and left for the cleaning. So that boneless feeling wasn't just from getting stupefied last night. Someone had gotten lucky...really LUCKY from the way he felt his backside throbbing. He briefly wondered who the lucky bitch happened to be. Couldn't have been the woman. He didn't smell like her.

He didn't smell like any woman actually.

In fact....he almost smelt like....outside....

"What time is it?" the other body mumbled.

"How the hell should I know?" he muttered softly. "The sun is up..."

"....SHIT. Tell it to go away damn it...."

The sun wouldn't have gone back even if it was threatened to be destroyed. It was laughing too hard to even notice the slight train of thought puckered upon the smaller man's face as he looked back at his bed mate. From the smell of it, he had gotten lucky as well. REALLY LUCKY. The man smelt of another man and a female...although the scents were strangely familiar. Maybe he had gotten a brother and sister...but there wasn't anyone that closely related here. Strange....why did that scent smell so familiar??

He opened his legs to gently get the kinks out of them only to be met with a slight **_squish_** that sent shudders up his spine. He was briefly aware of the scent yet had no more than a moment to dwell on it. His bed partner had gotten up and grabbed him by his waist.

"W-what...w-what are you--?!"

"I told you to stop it..." he muttered moving to seat him just over his crotch. "I told you last night that drives me nuts..."

"HUH?! What the fuck are you talking about?!" he practically screamed. "I don't--"

"Hmm...you don't remember last night do you?"

"Of course not you idiot!! If I did, I wouldn't be here!!"

"Yessss, you would," he muttered darkly. He found himself shivering violently into the grip that held him so steady, breathing heavily as the face of his captor focused within his drunken haze. This touch was familiar, pleasant even, though the strange sensation between his legs had not let up. If anything, he could have sworn he was dripping. But, that wasn't possible.

Was it?

His brain didn't want to work then. The fog had covered his eyes and left him sitting there, waiting for something his body wanted but his mind protested against without a clear thought. He tried in vain to see what he meant, but he found himself looking up at the ceiling muttering incoherently. He was hot, hotter than he had been, and in a great deal of mixed pleasure and pain. He squirmed to get away from it only to have something hot and hard move in places he had forgotten. Pain died and left him a mounting mess of muttering flesh wanting more of whatever was happening. He wasn't too sure...didn't want to be sure...

But he was sure the moment he found himself looking into those eyes.

"N-no..."

"YES..."

"N-no! Wait...stop a moment!!" he cried through the fog of pleasure he was in. "Oh god...stop...please!!"

"Can't...I told you that drives me nuts!!"

Drove him--?!

Sick realization came playing back to him in fractured pieces. Glimpses of last night only fueled the fire in his belly, urged on the screaming he could care less about as a tail came along and rubbed him wrong in the right places. It was all he could do not to pass out, clenching and crying out as he fell forward to grip at that flat chest he had woken up too. He felt himself rise not of his own volition, numb with is passing senses until they came to life full flare seconds later. He rose and sat back, absently grasping the sheets.

Oh...the beer was laughing. It was laughing hard and loud as the sounds of the others came awake from his crying out. The bed had a good say in it, louder than it had been last night to the hung over guests sleeping in the other rooms. Somehow he didn't bother to mention this, already feeling his spine numbing up nicely for the second go. He was too occupied in wondering just how many times this would happen before someone came knocking.

He got his answer when the clock spat out that it was eleven and a mop of blue came peeking in.

"OH SHIT!!"

Five he wondered absently as he fell forward once more. The door closed and the muttered panicking of that blue haired woman only marred his thinking a bit. At the moment, he kept his gaze on the one below him, breath idly blowing on the nipple he had missed before.

"For the record...that will only land you on your backside..."

He quickly moved his head and settled for the next best thing; that pillow he had been looking for in the first place. He closed his eyes and tried to find the sleep looking for him.

Tried. His brain quickly regained all coherency and he sat up only to be pinned by a set of lips belonging to none other than his RIVAL.

"We'd better move..." he murmured.

"We?!" he snapped. "Now it's we?!"

"Um...yeah, unless you have a better idea."

"How about you throw yourself out the damned window?! You've got some nerve ordering me around...!!"

"Babe...you might not want to yell at me...."

"WHY THE FUCK NOT?!"

Somewhere in the back of his mind, the door opened again and this time there were more gasps of complete shock through the fog of beer than hadn't quite left them. He would have thrown him off and clamored for some decency had his mind not taken fifteen minutes to breathe right. He rested on his arms panting heavily under the assault of those hips. Somewhere along the lines his rival had sought his way up to his ear, kissed the back of his neck and muttered, "It will land you on your face..."

Somehow...he didn't mind it.

* * *

Onto PART 1!


	2. Mother Nature is STRANGE

Knocked UP

Standard Disclaimers:

I don't own anyone in the DBZ saga, nor do I seek to gain profit from it.  
I DO, however, seek to giggle my head off in glee as I put certain characters through the joys of...

*dramatic pause*

PARENTHOOD

**Before** and _After..._

* * *

**Part 1:**  
**Mother Nature is STRANGE  
**a.k.a.  
Who the hell comes up with this S*&$!?

* * *

Fifty-six years old...

He was freaking fifty-six years old!

DAMN IT!! He was fifty-six years old for crying the hell out loud and THIS is what life gave him?! THIS?!

He knew he pissed someone off upstairs enough for them to get him back like this. Oh god, why was life so unfair?!

"Babe, stop pouting and get a move on," he exclaimed. "This is the last of it."

He wanted nothing more than to scream at that idiot telling him to hurry up, but he didn't quite dare. It took him three tries to finally get it in his head that screaming at him would only result in rug burn on his knees and elbows and a sore throat from screaming so much. The last time it happened he nearly passed out from it all. Unfortunately he had made the mistake of getting away from him, flopping on his backside and leaving an open invitation. The next thing he knew, he was in a bed trying to remember if he had a brain or not, and the idiot was grinning down at him like a cat with a bowl of cream. He muttered silently to himself thinking about it as he absently rubbed his backside of the tenderness lingering there from this morning. Now that **_was_** an accident. He hadn't meant for him to misinterpret him stretching for an array of acts that landed him ass up and incoherent for a good hour after a certain...bathing...

"Babe!"

"Would you stop calling me that?!" he griped taking a box into his arms. "What's with you?!"

"Nothing...except the obvious."

That much was apparent. He could see the gleam in that seemingly innocent gaze peering down at him from that height of six foot four. That gaze had fooled MANY people too many times in his head to count, but he knew about the dangers of that gaze and where it would land most people. Most people would be fooled into thinking that he was a simpleton. Most people would think that he was just an overgrown teddy bear with a light opinion; that he would never get the full picture unless you explained it to him. HA! He almost laughed at it aloud. That damned gaze is what landed him in hot water and left him absently rubbing places that shouldn't have been sore.

Lost in his thoughts, he never noticed as a stray hand came to run itself through his spiked mane. It was a little too late to move, since the box in his hands fell to the floor as he was snatched close. Oh jeez, he wasn't going to...

"Would you stop worrying so damned much?" he heard him mutter in the sincerest manner possible. "It's not like I planned this, but I sure as hell should have done this a LONG time ago."

Curiosity got the better of him. "....what do you mean by a long time ago?"

"Let's just say...Goten may not have been born."

WHOA. That was a long time...a very long time. The boy was about twenty-five now and just now finding his way. If this idiot was serious...

"Come on babe, let's get this done so we can get a move on..."

"Could you not call me that?!"

"Why not??"

Oh HELL no. He wasn't falling for that shit. He separated himself mumbling mentally about how gullible people wound up on their backs, completely missing the wide grin that fool was giving him. How he wound up here of all places, moving boxes and loading them up in a car that shouldn't have been, was beyond him. At least, he liked to think so.

That party had only been a week prior. He vaguely remembered something about celebrating someone's birthday. Whatever the occasion, it was just an excuse to get drunk for once without having to worry about someone or _something_ coming to destroy the earth for whatever reason. The last idiot that had come had said the earth was too blue. He had to admit, punching his nose in for that felt **good**.

Being a woman of money, leisure, and little shame, the blue haired woman had gotten a hell of a lot of beer for them to consume. Corona, Colt 45, Budweiser, Heineken, and Sam Adams bottles were placed in a huge bin aside a bunch of food she had ordered. Of course being those who were invited, three kegs of beer showed up aside the bottles via Scar face, Cueball, and the hermit. More food arrived courtesy of the wild woman the simpleton married and her daughter in law dragging the boy wonder behind her. It didn't take a genius to know that everyone was coming, and he for one wasn't up to the task of being social. He was all set to grab three beers and lock himself in his private quarters when the overgrown idiot had spotted him and grabbed him before he could make a run for it.

Five minutes. He said five minutes! No sooner had he opened his first beer did someone say something stupid. He rolled his eyes and held his tongue. He refused to get into the middle of this! Well, that soon went out the door when someone, the cueball he supposed, mentioned lightly that the simpleton couldn't hold his beer. Simpleton frowned and took that as a silent challenge. The game was roaring in the background, the music blaring to life through the girls urge to dance. They stood dancing with one another by the stereo while the men who were still kind of watching the game began urging the cue ball and the simpleton to have a contest. He sipped his beer at the time, trying desperately to find a way OUT of this mess.

_"What's the matter Veggie?? Not interested in watching him lose?"_

He shook his head at the idiot who had called him **veggie**, paling when he realized it was scar face. Scar face had winked at him and said, _"Oh, I see...you're afraid that he can drink more than you!"_

If anything, they had all learned how to push his buttons over the years he had been here on this planet. Cueball looked away grinning slightly and the simpleton put on that mask acting as if he were indeed curious about it. How dare scar face say something of that nature?! If anything, he could out do all of them! Hell, he had even drunk Zarbon under the table and the fish was nothing more than lush after a good ten! Common sense left him and he found himself slapping fifty zeny on the table screaming that he could drink all of them under the table. It wasn't long before everyone was taking bets and the bottles were being broken out along with the hidden six packs that had been stashed in case they ran out. He sat on one side, Cueball the other, and the simpleton sat adjacent to them with an evil smirk gracing his lips.

He should have seen it then. He REALLY should have seen it then. That smirk was the beginning of something he had no intentions of being a part of under normal circumstances.

One beer started it all. By beer number thirty, Cueball was LONG gone. He was still in the game, though feeling the effects of it a bit. Simpleton was feeling it too, but said nothing as he grabbed the thirty-first bottle. He grabbed his own and drank heavily from it.

Things...got a bit blurred after that.

There was a lot of laughter around bottle fifty...

Some blurred voices around bottle fifty one....

And then...he was feeling really hot.

By the time the beer fog had lifted itself, he was on the wrong end of the spectrum with his face buried in the pillows and his ass being abused for the fifth time that morning. Honestly, after going so long without getting any he really wasn't protesting the use of his body in trade of getting an orgasm that put him out of his misery for minutes at a time. Yet, after the fog was gone and so was the heated throb between his legs, they noticed that the door was open and in it was everyone they knew staring at them in complete shock.

Well, that was a sobering moment.

They were allowed an hour to clean themselves up. He had readily rolled out of the bed and tried his damnedest to get into the bathroom before the overgrown bear did. It wasn't that easy. Three seconds away from the door he found himself being lifted and turned to settle his weight on his hips, lips attacking his own as a certain tail rubbed him between his legs. He just about lost it then and there, going limp and purring rather loudly against his mind screaming for him to get away.

It was only then that he realized that he was in heat...

_Damn it_, he thought tiredly, _Of all the fucking days to have my cycle..._

He grabbed the last box and walked out of the small house to load it into the waiting car. He was out there waiting on him, leaning against the car and looking up at the noon skies. Clouds were on the horizon, and it promised to be a nice storm that would wipe out a bunch of power lines when it hit. He placed the box in the car and closed the trunk. That had to be the last of it...

"What's left?" he asked tiredly.

"Hmm? Nothing. I've got everything else in the condo."

His head hurt. He pinched the bridge of his nose and breathed slowly.

From the moment they had been caught right up to the moment when he was being dragged down the stairs, he had been expecting the screaming, the crying, and the angry glares from everyone who had passed out the night before. He had been bracing himself from the accusations and the excuses, but he only found himself holding his head as the argument surfacing wasn't about their little tryst last night...

_"You said it would be around bottle forty! I said fifty!"_

_"Technically you said fifty one. They got to sixty. The old man guessed forty..."_

_"So who the hell guessed sixty?!"_

_"That would be....PAN?!"_

_"Ha! That's right losers, give ME my MONEY!!" she laughed maliciously. _ She would have made a good saiyan woman. She grabbed the money and counted it gleefully. _"I told you it would take him sixty bottles to bed Vegeta-san..."_

_"Damn it...I wanted to watch,"_ Scar face had muttered._ "No one taped it?!"_

Those idiots weren't even the least bit phased! Not even the wild woman whom he would have thought would try to kill him! It seemed as if she were more interested in replaying what she saw in her head with a leer. He groaned at that point and sat down...

BIG MISTAKE.

"You still sore?" came a soft voice.

It turned out that the big oaf had divorced his wife sometime ago. He kept it silent is all. She was tired of waiting, he was tired of leaving...and not getting any. She had the hots for someone else, and it just so happened to be his own WIFE. How long that little tryst had been going on was beyond him. He truly didn't want to know. At this point she had moved in with her and he was left with the ape looking down at him in concern. He muttered something under his breath and rubbed his aching backside. Sitting down so hard a week ago had left him seeing stars. Even now his back twitched, but that was from the misuse of it this morning. He was fifty-six damn it, not twenty!

Wait, he was a saiyan...

Aw crap.

"Vegeta??"

"I'm fine," he murmured. "I'm just tired."

He was tired actually. Tired and sore! He was nearing the transition stage of his cycle and it would only be a matter of time before he was bed ridden. Knowing the nature of the one standing aside him, he got in the front seat and promptly fell asleep.

* * *

"Kakorrot..."

"Hm??"

"....were you serious?"

"Of course I was. Have I ever lied to you?"

"...no, but..."

"Would you trust me already? My intentions are honorable."

"I find that very hard to believe..."

"Point taken. My intentions are honorable...for the moment."

He groaned inwardly at that smile and tried his best not to smile back. Once again he was looking at the ceiling, chest heaving for what air it could grasp. The only fog in his eyes was the one placed there an hour ago.

It hit him hard and fast. He was expecting it, though it wasn't as if he knew when. Without warning he came awake, eyes searching for something, someone to kill the fire surging in his veins. Most times he found the woman standing there at his feet in expectancy. She had gotten used to it and often was there long before it could take hold of his spine and leave him aching. It wasn't often enough to require much, every month or so dependent on his mood. Once a year, however, he was intent on finding something, ANYTHING, to quench the desires racing though him. He often had to lock himself away, fly somewhere far and fast, or train past the pit of fire burning at his stomach. No one questioned him, no one sought to discover his reasoning despite the silence, and he didn't tell. Telling would have been his undoing and as a prince, he had his pride. So no one knew, and he was left to deal with it on his own.

Until tonight.

As soon as he laid eyes on the backside of his current issue, he was off of the couch and wriggling into his surprised but willing embrace. Hands roamed, clothes were discarded, foreplay was a thing for another time, and he willingly screamed as his fingers planted themselves into those broad shoulders. All sense of reality faded and it was only heat, arousal, and something more dictating their actions.

A solid hour of nonstop coupling (_fucking_ in his mind) had him sore, tired yet again, and wondering what the hell had come over him. His cycles were never like this...never this intense! Maybe that beer had done some damage, or maybe...no, that wasn't it. He threw that thought way out of his mind before it could collect itself and focused on the lips nibbling at his shoulder. A firm hand roamed a little lower to dip between them and delve into the warm cleft still wrapped around him. He hissed and muttered something in saiyan.

"....excuse me??"

Hn? Why was he still talking?! Oh, yeah...

"I said...stop playing..."

"Hn...you're still trembling..."

What did he expect? For a man of simple means, he knew what he was doing in the bedroom. What the hell was that woman thinking?

"So..."

"Hmm?? Aah!!"

"So are you ready now?"

Was he ready?! No freaking way! He barely had time to confirm whatever he had in mind before he saw the back of his eyelids and his throat let that simpleton know just HOW ready he was. He couldn't have known...there was no way he could have...

Ooh...was that space just now??

* * *

**Three days later....**

"You're late!!"

"Yep."

"You didn't call!"

"I know."

"What did you bring me?"

"Me. Is that good enough?"

Oddly enough...it was. He sniffed him lightly and noticed nothing more than sea air, turtle, and the faint whiff of musk from a light workout. Satisfied that there wasn't anything more than that, he allowed him to greet him with a light nuzzle upon his neck. He'd learned that it was his way of apologizing for things that popped up when he really didn't want them to. That and squeezing the life out of him in his sappy moments. Those he would never get used to. Thankfully he only squeezed him lightly and settled for kissing a heart shaped mark at the base of his left ear.

"Dinner?"

"In the oven. Bills?"

"Paid. Are we still going to the mall tomorrow?"

He placed his hands on his hips and glared lightly at him. "You broke it, you bought it...and you WILL be buying me a proper ring!"

"All right! Sheesh...how was I supposed to know that would happen?"

"Please, don't play dumb with me. YOU KNEW."

"Actually...not until the third time, but by then I had a good idea..."

"......so...it doesn't bother you?"

Obviously not. He snatched him close again and proceeded to thoroughly erase that thought from his mind via his tongue. He parted for air a moment later and mentioned quite graphically, "Fuck no! Besides, I had a feeling there were a hell of a lot more males than females."

"Hn..."

"So..."

A careful eyebrow placed itself upward in question. "So...what?"

"So...when can I beat up everyone for not giving me my far share of the money?"

"Never."

"Aw, come on! At least let me beat up Yamcha for even thinking about taping it."

"No...besides, you've got more money than you know what to do with. Yamcha's nothing more than a pervert so what's the use in beating him up?"

"He's been ogling your ass for years..."

"I'll kill him myself."

Goku laughed at him and nuzzled the mark sitting comfortably for all to see. Well, not yet but he was going to show it off soon enough. Vegeta knew that the big ape was modest about some things, but the ego under the mask was enough to put his to shame. He could see it every time he found himself in some position screaming his brains out from being screwed into the bed of the moment. A smirk like that was well earned, well used, and embarrassing all in one. Hopefully he wouldn't smirk like that at the next gathering...

"What are you thinking about?"

Vegeta shook his head and hid a blush under his hands. "N-nothing..."

"Someone's blushing...."

"K-Kakorrot...not now!"

"Why??"

"Because dinner is cooking!"

Goku smirked that smirk and it was a lost battle. Wandering hands had gotten past the pants and were now fondling a pair of firm buns waiting to be devoured. A thick piece of meat was pressed against him, and it was all he could do not to fall as that tail of his snaked its way into the front of his pants and rubbed the ripened fruit waiting to have the juices sucked out of it...

Somehow, they wound up ordering take out.

* * *

**One month later...**

For the first time in a short while, he could actually say that he wasn't looking to see the back of his eyelids from exhaustion of the good kind. He wanted to sleep, but it wasn't from recent activities. In fact, they hadn't really done much of anything last night. Goku was too tired for once, which puzzled him to no ends. Perhaps it had something to do with training the day away with his sons...or maybe it was from flying up to the lookout to harass Piccolo. Either way, yesterday he hadn't seen him until about eight in the evening.

He mentioned something about running errands. Yeah, it was a little weird but that was Goku for you. Weird at times and unwilling to explain anything until he was ready to knock you for a loop. He was infamous for doing that, and he was damn well good at it too. The last time he had gotten around his suspicions, Goku had popped up out of nowhere at a barbeque Bulma was hosting in spite of recent events. They were celebrating something or other, but no one had told him WHAT until Goku had shown up. Once he was there, all hell broke loose under the veil of squealing girls looking to get a closer glimpse of those diamonds sitting nicely in a ring of rare precious metal.

To say that he was shocked would have been a bold faced LIE.

_"You said to get you a proper ring..." he murmured smirking in his eyes. "Will this do?"_

The man had taste. He'd give him that much. He sat down looking at it as a smile came to his lips unconsciously. Goku was as strange as they came. If he ever did anything normal he'd have to wonder if he'd lost his mind.

Absently he eyed the tiles of the bathroom floor thinking to himself. Just what was that idiot planning this time around?

"...Geta??" came a tired voice from the doorway. "What's the matter??"

He shook his head, though he wanted nothing more than to placed his forehead against the cool tiles. Slowly he stood, wary of the way his stomach lurched when he was upright. He kept his balance by holding the edge of the sink and willed the dizziness to fade as his mate came over to him.

"Are you alright?"

"I think I ate something bad last night..." he muttered tiredly.

Goku blinked a bit in thought. "....we didn't eat last night..." he mused silently. "Are you sure??"

Vegeta blinked again and thought about it some more. Wait...he **didn't** eat last night. Last night they had been too tired to make anything, let alone do anything that would require them to eat right after. They had gone to bed and nothing more happened asides sleep. That was actually a first considering their fast relationship. He didn't think there was a day when Goku didn't manage to get into his pants somehow.

"Vegeta?"

"Hmm? Oh, right...I'm sure it's nothing."

Goku didn't buy that for a minute and Vegeta knew it too. He was willing to let it go for the moment however. He leaned forward and kissed him on the temple, ignoring the warmth that shouldn't have been there.

"Go shower. I'll start breakfast...."

The mention of breakfast had Vegeta worshiping the porcelain goddess again.

***************

"What?! Is he dying?!"

"NO!"

"But you said he was sick! Vegeta NEVER gets sick!!"

"Well he's sick now..."

"Which is why you aren't screwing him into the ground, eh?"

"HA. You're just jealous because mine's free."

"Tch, bastard. Seriously, the way you two are, you'd swear he'd be knocked up!"

Vegeta opened his eyes and stared at Goku sitting at the table. He had his sandwich in one hand and the phone in front of him blaring on speaker phone. From what he could hear, he could tell that Goku was speaking to none other than Yamcha. Honestly, the well hidden pervert had been on the up and up with conversation with his buddy since they had coupled almost two months ago. He didn't mind it, except when he was looking to ogle his ass as Goku had mentioned whenever they saw him in person. Yamcha was almost as big a pervert as that hermit, but he hid it quite well. That didn't stop him from taking cheap shots at Goku, laughing silently as he bit into his sandwich.

"Vegeta's going to cut you off one day and you're not going to know what to do with yourself."

"You only wish you had him to cut you off," Goku smirked.

"What can I say? Krillin doesn't do it for me."

Goku nearly spit out his food. Instead he choked on it as Yamcha laughed his head off on the other line. "Hey, not over the phone!"

"Asshole! That image will haunt me forever!"

"And you screwing the daylights out of a certain Saiyan during our last encounter only made the chicks leave that much sooner!"

"Ugh, I'm eating here!!"

"What?! I'm only saying...but seriously, take it easy. You're going to burn out..."

"Um...no. Didn't get any last night and I'm still looking to scratch that itch. But, my mate is sick...and I don't want him to do anything that could harm him and make me feel like shit."

"Oooh...someone's got it bad."

"You know that so why state the obvious?"

"Because it's so FUN teasing you. Hey, I gotta go, so behave man! Keep it up and you might be up to your ears in kids!"

Goku snorted and reached to end that call. "RIGHT. Maybe you should have some."

"....one day. Later."

He ended the call and polished off the rest of his sandwich in three bites. Vegeta closed his eyes again but didn't fall asleep. He waited until he heard keys, felt a kiss on his forehead and heard the door slam to get off of the sofa and run strait into their bedroom. That thought he had squashed over a month ago was coming to the surface full force.

Damn it, he was too old for this!!

Wait...

Still a saiyan. DAMN IT!!

****************

"Vegeta?? Babe?? Where are you??"

Okay...directions don't lie. They were there for a reason right? RIGHT? He vaguely thought about ignoring them and what the hell they were suggesting. This couldn't have been right. It just couldn't have been right!!

"Vegeta?? Hey, come on...where'd you get to?"

_**Shit!!**_

"Uh...I...um...Wait, I'll be right out!"

He grabbed the boxes from the floor and dumped them in the trash. He could hear those footsteps in their room. Gah, why did he say anything?!

"Hey, is everything all right?? Babe?"

He peeked his head through the door in time to see him shake his head free of the remaining droplets of water from the shower. The room was still warm from the heated waters doing their job in cleansing the smaller warrior. It smelt of a fragrant soap Vegeta was only known to use when he wanted to relax and the soft familiar spice that was just Vegeta. It was a scent he had gotten very used to and hoped to bath in soon enough. He smirked inwardly though he was sure his mate caught a whiff of his intentions. He looked back and said nothing as his towel fell away and fluttered towards the damp floor.

He strolled past him and aimlessly wandered into their room, the towel lying forgotten on the bathroom floor. His tail idly flickered a bit and brushed against his thigh lovingly. If that wasn't a tell tale sign, then what he saw next was the green light!

In his cat like grace, he leapt onto the bed and crawled towards the head of it. Goku had a clear view of everything. He mindlessly licked his upper lip, tracing the outline of the sculpture come to life stopping long enough to stretch outwards, his back arched so that nothing more than his lower half was up in the air. The heavy scent of musk and arousal hit him between the eyes, stirring that itch he hadn't the heart to scratch in almost thirty six hours. He felt himself stiffen but didn't move.

Reaching the pillows, he flipped himself over. He brought his legs upward a bit only to let them fall on either side of him. His hardened shaft laid heavily on his belly, his sac drawn up tight in expectancy of his mate's touch. The soft folds beneath it shimmered in what light pierced their bedroom, slick with his essence and more than ready to receive. Goku shuddered as Vegeta reached beneath him, breath hitching into a moan as his fingers idly rubbed the hidden nub. It was all he could do not to bite his lip off as he dipped his fingers a little lower, and it took everything that was left of his will power not to jump him as his head fell into the pillows. He lay panting there on the bed, fingers slick with his own juices as he brought the offending hand back up to his lips. One lick had the bigger saiyan out of his clothes and leaping into the bed to settle between those legs. Vegeta giggled and wrapped his arms around his neck.

"Welcome home, Kakorrot..."

He didn't know what he had done to earn this kind of a greeting, but he was more than willing to find out what he did so he could do it more often!

"So...what's the occasion?" he asked nibbling at the mark.

"Oh...just because..."

"I'm beginning to like _just because_..."

Before Goku could attach himself to a waiting nipple, Vegeta yanked him back up by his hair. Mildly curious and irritated, Goku regarded him canting a brow. "What's the matter?"

Oh hell. Finding out was the easy part now. Telling him was not as easy. "Um..."

"Five seconds..."

"I've got something to tell you..."

"Four..."

"Stop counting you idiot!"

"THREE!!"

"Kakorrot!!"

"TWO~~~"

"Kakorrot would you stop and listen to me!"

"ONE~~~!!"

"Goku I'm Preg--ahhhh!!"

All coherent thought turned to mush as Goku proceeded to plunge his tongue in and out of the soft folds with a vengeance. Vegeta widened his eyes and could barely keep a scream to himself. This was the starting signal of a session his throat was going to be completely useless from in the coming days. He made a mental note to himself before his mind was nothing more than a babbling mess:

Don't tease the idiot after 36 hours.

* * *

**Five hours later....**

That idiot had every right to be smiling, panting a bit as he finally decided that enough was enough. He was grateful for it and slumped backwards against his arms. He didn't have to see the smile to know it was there. He felt it when he placed a kiss on the top of his head. A light squeeze and soft words had him drifting a bit, but not enough to ignore the throbbing of his body, or that tail of his idly stroking the more sensitive parts of him. He meant no harm by it, but it was enough to make him turn his head into his bicep. He winced a little and said nothing, arching his back a bit as he clamped down and came yet again.

"Mmm...surprised you didn't pass out...."

Again he said nothing, saying it all as he lifted himself and allowed Goku to finally fall out of him. He sat back down willing himself to breathe, though Goku soon had him in his arms and buried against the groove of his neck. Slick skin stuck to slick skin, unable to tell and unmindful to who's sweat was whose. They had clung to each other for a long while, so he was sure he smelt definitely of the larger saiyan. He closed his eyes and inhaled the strong scent of him. Worn aftershave, outside, waning arousal, and a gentle furious nature that reminded him of roses and thorns. He smelt like heaven and he couldn't keep himself from smiling faintly.

He had ravished him from the inside out, promising him in his actions that he wouldn't know up from left or down from wherever right happened to be at the moment. His voice had given out long ago, but his body...ooh, his body had other ideas for him. Craning backwards against that abusive tongue; holding on desperately to the sheets as he teased his way in; blacking out the first time, their hands linked between them and hearing those words drifting into the darkness...who was to say that this wasn't real? He had his doubts, and he still had some, but feeling his mate soothe his trembling body from its high was a sure sign that they had bonded. None of his other lovers had ever thought to do something like this, and it often left him feeling a little more empty than the meaningless sex did.

Soon his body stopped its trembling. He sighed in relief. Goku laid another kiss on the side of his neck. "Are you all right?"

"Hmm? Oh...I'm fine," he whispered. "Just...tired..."

"You think you can manage a shower?"

He seriously doubted his legs worked at the moment. He shrugged. Goku kissed his shoulder this time, grinning all the while. Before he knew it, he was being carried into the bathroom much like those brides he'd been subjected to throughout his living with Bulma. It was a bit embarrassing, but efficient. His legs were jelly and his mind not much better. There was something...something he wanted to tell him...

"Hmm?! Vegeta, what's all this??"

What was he talking about? He looked down at the box his tail managed to get a hold of and blinked a bit.

Oh yeah...

"This looks like the one Chi-chi bought that time we found out about Gohan," Goku mused to himself. "Only now it's digital..."

"Was it accurate?" he asked softly.

"We did it five times...and you see it was right!"

"Oh...well then try to ignore what the little stick says then...it may be right."

As he expected, Goku set him down on the toilet and grabbed the stick off of the counter. One of them anyhow. Vegeta yawned and managed to get to his feet. It took a little effort, but he managed to get the shower running. He had only stepped into the hot spray when the loud thud of complete shock shook him out of it. Idly leaning his head out of the door, he smiled a bit at the dumbfounded saiyan looking between the box and him. Oh well.

"Congrats, Kakorrot...you've successfully managed to do the impossible."

"W-what?! H-how the hell?!"

"It's called sex...and lots of it with NO protection. Just be grateful I'm past my prime and you won't get a litter out of me."

"LITTER?! Vegeta! How can you be so calm about this?!"

"Because I'm still a bit high...but I'll knock you out when I come down to earth. Promise!"

With that he ducked his head back into the shower and grinned. He was going to milk this for all it was worth.

Little did he know that Goku was sitting in the doorway smirking to himself.

_It figures..._

* * *

On to part 2!!


	3. I know what you did last night

Standard Disclaimers:

I don't own anyone in the DBZ saga, nor do I seek to gain profit from it.  
I DO, however, seek to giggle my head off in glee as I put certain characters through the joys of...

*dramatic pause*

PARENTHOOD

**Before** and _After..._

* * *

**Part 2:****  
I know what you did last month****  
**a.k.a.  
Who the hell told them?!

* * *

Five days had passed from the *ahem* _revelation_. For the most part, nothing had changed...

"Hon, do you want me to do the shopping?"

Almost nothing.

He nodded slightly and went back to the task of reaching up into the cupboard and trying to get the flour down. He knew his mate was waiting tensely aside him, waiting to catch him if he should fall. It was highly annoying, and at the same time, satisfying. Before the revelation he had been left to do whatever he wanted on his own as it should have been. Yet now, seeing that there was something else to worry about, he lingered at his side day in and day out. The first day it was cute in that puppy way. The second day, it was a bit much. Now, it was just plain tiresome though the giant did manage to give him a bit of room. He had gotten the hint this morning when he had slammed the bathroom door in his face and told him in no certain terms to back off. He had...but not much.

Silently sighing to himself, he finally snagged the flour out of the cupboard and made his way back down. Goku was sitting at the table mindlessly scribbling down everything they needed. It wasn't as if he had needed to ask to do the shopping. He expected him to, like he always did. Recently, however, he had begun to ask him if it was okay to do certain things, or if it was alright if he left or did something he normally did without saying anything. It's not like he wanted Goku to report to him for every little thing he happened to do. He never asked for that. It was as if some mindless agreement was made and he made himself a servant of sorts.

Granted he was a prince, but this was a little much...

"Kakkorrot?"

"Yeah hon?"

He winced at that and tried his best not to gag. _**Babe**_ was better. "Do me a favor, will you?"

"Hmm? What's that?"

"Go back to being normal. You're freaking me out."

As he thought, the giant blinked and didn't catch a clue. At least, he thought he hadn't. Just as he was about to roll his eyes and explain, Goku laughed a bit shaking his head. What? What was so amusing?

"Damn, I'd forgotten I tended to do that..."

"You mean the whole acting subservient thing? Not that I don't like it but it's weird on you..."

"I'm sorry. When Chi-chi was expecting I had to play the good husband. It was as if nothing I did was good enough...everything I did upset her..."

"HORMONES."

"Damned strait. Anyhow, I didn't want to do anything to upset you...especially since...this is..."

Vegeta felt his cheeks redden from the inside out. No matter how many times he mentioned it, it still managed to embarrass the hell out of him. As a male he was far from being a virgin either way. As a saiyan, however, it had been Goku to claim his virginity...and claim it he did. Just thinking about it made him squirm in his seat. Thankfully Goku made no other mentions of it aside smiling inwardly to himself.

"Look," Vegeta mumbled, "Not that I don't appreciate the thought, but I'm not that woman."

"I know."

"I know that you know. I'd beat you to the ground first, then I'd be upset."

Goku snorted a bit and leaned on his hand smiling a little more. "I wouldn't expect any less of you."

"Good. Now kindly hurry that up so we can get going. I want dinner before my stomach decides to change its mind."

"Sure thing, babe."

He turned away from him but couldn't keep himself from smiling. Honey was meant to be eaten and nothing more.

* * *

As per unsigned agreement, they went shopping for groceries. It shouldn't have taken no more than an hour tops, but knowing their luck, it went from going for groceries to winding up at none other than Bulma's house yet again. Vegeta had to suck his teeth a bit as he settled in the seat aside Goku. Why was it that they could never leave the house without running into someone these days?

"Lighten up Big Man. It's only for a little while. I was going to call but it's a good thing I went shopping beforehand."

"Now's not the best time to tease him," Goku explained when he didn't answer. He really didn't feel like talking, let alone going to HER house. Of all the people to run into, why did it have to be BULMA?? He muttered to himself and crossed his arms. What the hell did she need them for all of a sudden?

"Oh, is he in one of his moods again?"

"I'm right HERE you know!" he snapped. "Can we just please get this over with so we can go home?!"

Bulma huffed a bit and sat back with her arms folded. "Well, I just assumed you'd want to be the first to test out my new gravity room," she boasted. "I redesigned it just for you and Goku, but obviously you don't want a test run!"

"What makes you think I did?!"

Goku winced and tried his best not to gape at the gawking Bulma sitting there with her jaw unhinged. Vegeta mentally slapped himself. _Me and my big mouth _he thought silently dreading whatever she was thinking of. Knowing that brain of hers, she must have been analyzing everything he had said while she was still recovering from the shock. Not that seeing her at a loss for words wasn't amusing, but it was a little disturbing. Thankfully they had gotten to her house and Chi-chi greeting her from the doorway snapped her out of it.

"Oh, I see you ran into the boys!" she said seeing them getting out. "Lucky you!"

"Y-yeah...lucky me," Bulma laughed nervously.

"I hope you don't mind but we've got company."

Company?? Vegeta's head shot up like lightning when he heard the word company. He looked to Goku. Goku shrugged. He didn't know who was in there waiting either. All they could do was go in and find out, not that Vegeta was eager to see.

"Hey, it'll be real quick, I promise," Goku soothed. "I'll go in, get out, and we'll go home."

"We'd better..." Vegeta muttered. "My stomach is changing its mind...."

They walked into the house after Bulma and Chi-chi, mindful to remove their shoes. Now that Chi-chi was living here, cleanliness was godliness and nothing short of it. Everything had a shine to it, even the paintings that hung to collect dust. Nothing was left unorganized, unpolished, or unclean. Even the carpets had that freshly scented _just shampooed_ smell. Flowers and the smell of dinner cooking permeated the air. Goku's stomach growled. Vegeta's stomach rolled violently.

"K-kakorrot...."

"Hmm?! Oh crap..."

They'd been here way too many times not to know where the bathroom was. Goku grabbed Vegeta and teleported them towards the nearest one. Fortunately no one was on the toilet when they got there. Vegeta scrambled out of his embrace and threw himself over the toilet, heaving up what little he had kept down today. Goku remained at his backside, squatting to his level and rubbing his backside soothingly. Vegeta moaned his gratefulness until his stomach told him to shut up and surrender.

"Goku?! Vegeta?!!"

Goku looked up and yelped at the sight of Mrs. Briefs looking down on them in nothing more than her towel. Her blonde hair was damp, clinging to her bare shoulders that showed no signs of her aging at all! Absently he wondered how the hell she kept looking like she was twenty until he heard the sounds of another coughing curiously at them. The shower was still running full force and much to his silent horror, Mr. Briefs was peeking his head out in curiosity. Vegeta groaned and held his head in the toilet. Why was life so misleading??

* * *

"Oh, your poor dear...here, this should help you."

He lifted his head up long enough to see the tea being placed before him. He would have opened his mouth to thank her but then he'd get another gape out of the women standing nearby. He nodded but didn't take the tea. He slumped his head back down and tried his best not to adhere to his stomach's wishes. There was nothing left to give.

"Come on babe, it should help you a bit..." his mate offered. "It's bland enough not to upset your stomach..."

Bland wasn't the problem. Lifting his head up and drinking that tea was. Despite wanting nothing more than to sleep it off, he rose and took the tea into his hands. It took a moment, but sipping that tea instantly made him feel a lot better. His stomach finally shut up and settled back into neutral. He wasn't hungry, but he wasn't trying to dump his stomach from the inside out.

"Jeez, you weren't kidding..."

"Of course not..." Goku muttered. "It'll pass though."

It turned out that their so called company was none other than Yamcha. He sat across from them honestly worried about the well being of the smaller saiyan sitting with his head down. Goku rubbed his back, easing the tension out of it while avoiding the questioning gazes of the others standing around them in the dining room. Bulma of course was trying to figure out what the hell was wrong. Chi-chi kept minding dinner, though she was curious as to HOW the smaller saiyan became ill. Mr. and Mrs. Briefs (thankfully dressed) went about the room tinkering with some invention or standing over Vegeta with pure worry. Had it not been for the silent huffing of Bulma when she came away from her thoughts, the silence would have been deafening.

"I'm just going to take him home," Goku murmured after a moment. "I'll be back a little later to pick up the car."

"I can get Gohan to drive it over to you," Chi-chi offered. "He and Videl are coming over for dinner."

"Yeah, don't worry about it," Bulma exclaimed. "He'll understand."

Vegeta barely registered the last bit of their conversation before he found himself lying down under some sheets. Goku had teleported them back into their house with no more than a thought. Maybe he had blacked out a little? Whatever the case, he closed his eyes willingly and went strait to sleep with his mate thoughtfully stroking his hair.

Being sick **sucked**.

* * *

_**Two weeks later...**_

Summer was getting into full swing rapidly and no one was being left to wander the summer by themselves. Often it meant a series of cook-outs, beach trips, vacations, and getting into all sorts of trouble. That was usually fine, but he had other ideas about the summer and where he would spend them.

"T-shirt again?"

Or rather, what he would spend them in.

"My pants don't fit, my regular shirts don't fit, and you're asking me if I'm wearing a t-shirt again?!" he growled.

His mate raised his arms in surrender and said nothing more. He snorted and turned back to packing his things for their trip to the beach. What was it with the way husbands and/or mates tried to console the expecting when they knew damned well that the coming months promised a weight gain of 30+ pounds?!

His morning sickness had waned off over four days ago. He couldn't have been more relieved to get up and run for the bathroom for the usual rather than to empty what little he could keep. That day he wanted nothing more than to eat to his heart's content, but for the life of him he couldn't find a thing he really wanted to eat. He wanted something different...something sweet and sour but not tangy in that strange aftertaste manner...and that's when he found that he wanted to eat what his mate called a "craving concoction". It was almost unnerving to find himself eating strawberries, tuna, and cottage cheese on rye, but that's what he wanted. It was good as hell too!

He found himself wanting another as he stuffed the last of his shirts into the duffel bag on their bed. He didn't have enough time to make one, but he was sure he could get his mate to run out and grab the ingredients later.

"Ready babe?"

"Ready as I'm gonna get," he muttered.

His mate chucked at the disdain on his face and kissed his cheek in reassurance. "Don't worry so much. No one's going to notice it."

Vegeta muttered to himself and looked down for the tenth time this morning. By it, his mate was referring to the settled lump that had made itself present overnight. It was no more than a slight rounding that was subtle, hardly worth worrying over, but it had Vegeta in an uproar. He'd thrown a tantrum when he realized that his pants were way to snug and almost fainted dead way from the horror of seeing that his usual shirts only accentuated that little lump. With nothing else to wear and unwilling to buy anything that even remotely suggested that he was bigger than he actually was, he grabbed the smallest of Goku's shirts and put on a pair of his shorts. Thankfully the waistband had stretchy material on the sides of it so it wasn't uncomfortable.

Goku grabbed all of their bags and headed for the door with Vegeta in tow. Instinct had him placing his hands on his stomach, but he forced himself to put his hands down. The last thing they needed was anyone putting two and two together.

"You know, we're going to have to say something soon," Goku mentioned. "It's going to be kind of weird nine months down the line and showing up with a kid..."

"Can't I just hide until then?" he whined.

"Knowing our luck, someone will find us and then there'd be hell to pay. Hey, does Bulma know about...you know...?"

For the life of him, how the hell did that idiot always manage to make his cheeks hot?! "Of course not!! She'd have to get close enough to do that and believe me, she **never** got that close."

"Just checking. You know she's got a way of finding out about things..."

As infuriating as that sounded, he was right.

* * *

"Oh my God, Vegeta!! Are you..."

"Am I what?!"

"....really gonna eat that?!"

Normally...**normally**....he would have turned his head away from him and said nothing. Today, however, he growled and tried his best not to rip his head off from the small body it was attached to. On the other hand, he did make a marvelous look of disgust appear upon the cueball's face as he bit into that sandwich. What he ate was his business and no one else's!

"You want another, babe?" Goku asked.

He shook his head...then nodded it. He was famished! Goku handed him another and he devoured half of it in one bite. Needless to say that the cueball (with hair) shuddered in disgust.

Their trip to the beach had consisted of gathering together all of the gang and traveling someplace far from the sanctity that was the city. The plan was to stay at a resort and spend the next week doing nothing more than lying under the sun. Of course the trip was made in mind of the adults doing their own thing and the kids wandering off to do whatever suited their tastes, but that didn't keep them from hanging around and pestering their parents. Vegeta snorted a bit as he popped the last bit of his sandwich into his mouth. Grown kids still acting like they were ten...

"Hey dad, are you getting in the water??"

"Maybe later son," Goku yawned. "Right now, a nap would be good."

Goten would have urged him on if not for Trunks slamming strait into him. They fell into a heap on the sand, laughing and scrambling to get away from Bra and Pan. Each of the girls had buckets of water in their hands and screamed relentlessly that they were going to get it for whatever prank they had pulled. The only child who wasn't making a fuss was Marron, lazily sitting under an umbrella with her mother sitting contentedly at her side. Krillin was sit sitting where Goku and he happened to be, but his eyes were half glued to his daughter and the men that were ogling her from afar.

"If they even think about it..." Krillin growled. "Someone's head will roll."

"Calm down Krillin," Goku chuckled. "She can take care of herself."

"Easy for you to say! You've got boys!"

"So? At least you didn't have to have the "TALK" with your daughter. That was all Eighteen, wasn't it?"

"Hey, I'll have you know that raising a girl is much harder than raising a boy."

"Can't be too different....I mean, one's got a penis and the other doesn't. Both have to be kept in check, right? Castration or chastity belt with security system? Pick one or the other, either way they both work."

Vegeta barely resisted laughing his ass off at the scowl Krillin gave Goku. "You can be such an ass..."

"I keep telling him that!" Yamcha chuckled from where he lay. "But he doesn't listen to the likes of me...do you Goku?"

"If I did, I'd still be single."

"Ha, funny. SO did you guys decide?"

"Decide what?" Vegeta asked.

"On a date! After all that mayhem you two caused, no wait, YOU caused," he snapped glaring playfully at Goku, "with that damned ring, It's only right that you choose a date! Not to mention the BEST man."

Goku snorted. "That's easy. YOU can be the bridesmaid and Krillin can be the flower girl since he knows so much about them. As for my BEST man, he's located between my legs."

"GOKU!!"

"What??"

"The best man is the one who holds the real ring for you! The go-to guy," Krillin teased. "The one who sets up the bachelor party...eh? Eh?"

"In other words...my dick right?"

Vegeta lost it then and there and promptly laughed his ass off in the sand. Yamcha guffawed and rolled over to laugh to himself. Krillin growled and tackled the taller man into the sand. At least he tried.

"WHOA! WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!"

*SPLASH!*

"Aw Goku, did you need to toss him that far?" Eighteen asked lazily.

"Yes. Yes I did."

"Hn. Just thought I'd ask."

***********************

"So, what's on the agenda for tonight?"

The day had moved over them swiftly and left them well rested from a day of doing nothing. Goku stretched himself out, yawning languidly as he scanned the horizon. The sun dripped its warmth lazily under the coming veil of the night, tainting what few clouds were above them in warm honey and sweet candy. The blended skies were enough to make him a little more tired, although he was sure Vegeta was way past that point. Vegeta happened to be dozing lightly at his side, curled under his chin with his arms folded around his midsection. He grinned at him a little. Instinct tended to get the better part of Vegeta when he wasn't paying attention.

"How about we do nothing?" he suggested around the drinking binges. Of course the others wanted to get stupid drunk, but this wasn't the place he wanted to have another debauched night. The last thing any of them needed was to find themselves tangled up with yet another person. He didn't think he could handle another inner pool. "I'm all for going back to my room."

"Suit yourself Goku, but the rest of us are going to PARTY!!" Bulma cheered.

"That's fine."

"Are you sure?? Usually you don't hesitate to come along...Is he still ill?"

"No. That's come and gone. We're fine Bulma, just not in the mood to get that drunk ever again."

Bulma smiled slightly and nudged him a little in his ribs. "I get it. You two want some _alone_ time without the rest of us watching. Well, take your time, we'll be back late. Don't wear yourselves out!" she called as she walked off with the others.

Goku shook his head and looked down to his sleeping mate. Another few moments wouldn't hurt them.

As Bulma walked ahead to catch up to Chi-chi, she overheard Yamcha laughing at the look on Krillin's face. Eighteen was smirking at her blushing husband. Krillin looked extremely uncomfortable, which meant that they were talking about something that would have had the turtle hermit blushing in glee. She stalled long enough to pop in on their little conversation as everyone else paired off.

"Oh come on, Krillin," Yamcha chuckled. "Admit it and just accept it."

"Admit that my eyes are scarred for life? YES, I admit it!" Krillin shuddered dutifully and shook his head of whatever was plaguing him. "Ugh, Not that I have much to say about it, but I NEVER would have guessed those two..."

"Who? Goku and Vegeta?" Bulma asked lightly.

"Who else?! I mean, it's great that they're together....it's just not so great that I had to see them consummating it!"

"At least you got to see the better parts of it," Yamcha teased. "Unlike ME."

"You were too busy snoring on Gohan's ass."

"....I knew that pillow was a little too firm..."

"Hey, what's this I hear about Vegeta being sick?" Eighteen asked Bulma. "He's never sick."

"I know, which is why I'm a bit worried..." Bulma muttered. "He's stubborn, but not stupid enough to hide anything major from us. Goku would have told us anyhow."

"So what do you think was the problem?" Krillin asked. "Aside maybe eating something he shouldn't have?"

"I don't know. Certain smells set him off...and he is a bit moodier. He didn't even want to test out the new gravity room."

"What?! Are you serious?!" Yamcha cried. "Oh man...that's just too weird. But, you know, too much of a good thing might have been bad, if you catch my drift."

"We caught it...and you're right. With the way they've been going at it, you'd swear he'd of knocked up Vegeta by now," Eighteen chuckled.

"Are you kidding? Vegeta would have blown Goku's nuts off."

"IF he was a girl...which is a much scarier thought that the regular Vegeta," Krillin muttered. "I still think he may be under the weather..."

"Why??"

"Well...Vegeta's never missed the chance to show off his body. Today, baggy shirt. NO tight swimwear, just shorts. He totally devoured this icky looking sandwich...and he's been asleep ALL DAY. Doesn't he go off to train the first day here??"

"Maybe that changed because they're together now?"

Bulma shook her head. "Who knows? Anyway, we might as well drop this and get going. I think I hear Chi-chi ranting about us lingering behind."

The others resigned to moving on lest Chi-chi come running to drag them all towards the bar. Just thinking about it made them move a little faster for their own sakes let alone their arms. Bulma started to head after them, but something nagging at her senses made her look back at the two saiyans sharing the sunset together. As she let her eyes linger upon their frames under the dying light, something within her snapped into the realm of realization.

Goku sat casually upon the sands of the stretched out beach with his eyes peering down ever so lovingly at his sleeping mate. Time didn't matter to him, nor did the soft chill of the night winds coming to play along the shore. The winds tattered through his hair a bit, the smell of the sea drifting heavily into his being. He inhaled it and did nothing more than smile just a bit wider. Unaware, or just uncaring of the world around him, he shifted his smaller mate against him. Vegeta stirred a bit and absently released his hold. One arm snaked around Goku and the other rests soundly upon his stomach. A soft kiss was placed upon his brow. Goku's hand twined with his own and rested where it had fallen in the first place.

Bulma held her tongue and went to find the others.

Hopefully Trunks still had his portable computer on him.

* * *

The moment he should open his eyes, he found that night had long since passed and left morning to do its daily work. The sun shone through the window brightly, smiling for whatever reason it had to smile this morning.

What was there to smile about?

Slight movement made him aware of the warmth around him. A firm but gentle grip held him close to a waking body. He lifted his gaze a bit to see that it was none other than his mate shifting in his slumber. It was strange seeing him in such a manner. Normally he would have woken to the sounds of cooking, the bathroom, or exercise, depending on his mates mood. This morning seemed to bring out the unusually lazy side seeing as his mate snorted lightly and buried his face into his hair. Unconsciously tightening his grasp, he settled into a comfortable state and dropped back off to la-la land without a care in the world.

He allowed himself to smile against his chest as he closed his eyes. Though it was summer, finding himself wrapped in this embrace was all the warmth he could want. Sometime during the night the sheets had been kicked off, rumpled at the base of their massive bed. Normally he would have pulled them up to shield himself from the blast of the AC. This morning he decided to leave well enough alone.

"Mmm...you want breakfast?" came a sleepy murmur.

He shook his head and relaxed a little more, burying his face against the center of his collar bone. He took a moment to inhale his scent. He smelt of the sea, soap, and that strange refreshing breeze being outside tended to bring. He wanted nothing more than to bury himself in it, but life had a funny way of messing with his intentions.

He wasn't aware of how long they had actually drifted off. A hour? Two? Who was to say? All he knew was as soon as he had gotten into a good sleep, someone came pounding at the door.

"Mmmm....make them go away!" he whined.

"W-what?? Hey, who the hell is knocking like that?!" his mate snapped sitting up. "Damn it, I was sleeping..."

"Hey!! Get your lazy asses in gear!" someone called through the offending pounding. "It's almost noon!"

Vegeta rolled off of his mate to tiredly watch as Goku stalked for the door. He chose to stay in the bed and ignored the sudden yelp that came when he snatched the door open. Getting up there in age, neither one of them liked to get up unless they wanted to. There was no reason to, and no reason for anyone to wake them up unless it was an emergency. So far, he hadn't heard the news that earth was being attacked. He was pretty sure though that someone was going to wind up in the hospital in a moment.

"What is WITH the pounding?!" Goku snarled. "Do you realize we were sleeping?!"

Vegeta peered out into the hallway to see Krillin hop behind Bulma. Bulma crossed her arms. Goku wouldn't toss her and they all knew it. "Excuse me, but I thought we were all supposed to head out for lunch," she huffed. "It's almost noon! The buffet opens then and closes at ONE."

Goku looked back at him. Vegeta shrugged. He didn't care one way or another. "Hn, fine....give us twenty minutes."

"Great!! Oh, and don't fill up on food. I've got a special dessert planned for us to devour!"

"Really...like what?"

"Like you'll see when you find out. See you at lunch!"

With that, Bulma walked away leaving a grouchy Goku, a yelping Krillin, and a yawning Vegeta watching tiredly as Goku threw Krillin out of the hotel window. It was a good thing he knew how to fly. Their hotel room was a good five stories up.

Goku, rubbing the back of his head lightly, walked back over to the bed. He unceremoniously dumped himself back onto his side and rolled over to lay claim to Vegeta's waist. His nose buried in his hair, arms wrapped securely around his waist and tugging him closer, he placed a light kiss on the bare shoulder peeking out of the oversized shirt the smaller saiyan had chosen to wear. "Shower?" he asked softly.

Sleep was getting the better of him. He decided to let his snoring do the talking for him. Unfortunately, that only let his guard down. The next thing he knew, he was opening his eyes to his backside numbing up nicely via a very talented mouth.

That shower was looking mighty tempting in the next few moments.

* * *

**Thirty-five to Forty minutes later:**

After finally finding their way out of their room, the rumbling of their stomachs reminded them of lunch and the forced invite that had been their wake up call. Had it not been for their obvious hunger a.k.a. Goku's stomach, Vegeta was sorely tempted to get back in the bed and fall asleep for another five hours or so. He couldn't help but wonder at his tiredness. A little over two months into it and he felt like he'd been weighed down by fifty lbs. Well, that was exaggerating it a bit but he was tired. He had nothing to go on aside what little knowledge he had gained from his father when he was a boy, and that ** _wasn't_ much**. Honestly, could you imagine a king trying to tell his little boy about the birds and the bees from both angles? Awkward was the least of it.

"I wish I knew more about this," he muttered. "Damn it..."

"Hn? Wish you knew more about what?"

He shook his head and looked downward to where his hands rested instinctively. "This," he said quietly. "I'm not an expert on this you know...and being this tired is getting on my nerves...."

"Hm, you have a point. Who, asides you, knew about this?"

"My father...and possibly some of his court. They're all dead now, so there's no point in asking them."

"I suppose having someone, like another saiyan, around who knew about this would be good, huh?"

"Yeah...but then I'd have to worry about knocking their block off."

"Huh? Why?"

"Because they might try and steal you, seeing that I'm currently....out of commission."

Goku dutifully snorted and sauntered up to Vegeta to wrap an arm around his waist. Vegeta half expected him to say something loving and dutiful of a mate, but for the love of god he never EVER expected him to say, "I only want the strongest mate." Vegeta blinked. Goku shrugged. "Hey, I want what I want. Besides, I've waited 25 years to get you. Why would I even think of taking on someone wet behind the ears?"

"....youth."

"Youth knows nothing."

"You're younger than I am."

"A WHOLE YEAR."

"I'm FIFTY-SIX..."

"And? You still look as young as the day we met...and sexier..."

He felt the rise of blood in his cheeks despite his huffing soundly. "You won't be saying that when I'm bloated."

"You're right."

"WHAT?!"

"I'm pretty sure I'll have to keep my hands and my tail to myself...because by then I'll probably be trying to fuck the living daylights out of you."

"W-what???"

"Didn't you know? I have a fetish for people named Vegeta..."

He was pretty sure that he would have fallen flat on his face had Goku not spun around to embrace him fully. Again he found his senses full of this endless enigma. This time he smelt of a fragrant wash he loved to use after they had washed themselves of certain activities. The smell mixed with the natural odor that was Goku was enough to make his eyes roll a bit into the back of his head. Pleasurable waves drifted through him, his spine tingling from inhaling his musky scent and the feel of his arms cradling him against his broad body. It took everything he had not to drift right then and there, although, looking up into those warm orbs of onyx only made it that much harder to think. His mate smiled that smile, the smile he gives to those he cares about, but the slight quirk of his lips and the light in his gaze let him know that this look was his and his alone. He barely registered his arms coming up to rest on his mate's shoulders. He hadn't realized that they had stopped a few moments ago, just shy of the table they were looking for. Had he known, he might not have listened...

"You, my love, are like no other...and even if there was another version of you, I'd still choose you."

"K-Kakorrot..."

"You know me from the inside out...know my strengths, my weaknesses, my quirks and bad habits...and I know you...your pain, your joy, your pride, and your dreams. There is no other for us. We are the other half of one another."

No...NO. Were there tears stinging his eyes?! Sadly that happened to be the case as Goku lowered himself and allowed their lips to touch. The kiss was soft, short, and sweet, full of everything he felt for the smaller saiyan. Vegeta mindlessly wiped his eyes. He felt his mate chuckle soundly and place a kiss on his forehead. "Babe, you are my one and only mate. I promise you that."

"You swear?" he asked, despite his mind screaming at him for crying like he was. Damned Saiyan hormones. He wasn't even that far along and already he was emotional! A hiccup left him just shy of a small sob that had his mate holding him even tighter. "You really mean that??"

"Of course! What, did I not get you the proper ring?"

Vegeta wiped at his face as the mark upon his neck warmed itself. If there was ever a way for him to know if that overgrown bear was telling the truth, their mark was a sure test. The only times he had felt it so warm was at night when they were cuddled up against each other. He would be sleeping, but he knew Goku was awake, watching him sleep peacefully for the first time in years. Now that he thought about it, he hadn't had a nightmare in all their time together. The past was an evil thing that came to haunt him whenever he was alone...but...

"Mmm...you sure I'm not gonna get a litter?"

...but he wasn't alone. Not anymore. "Knowing you, maybe," he chuckled. He wiped the last of his tears away and smiled against his shoulder. "You've got strange luck like that."

"Good thing I'm RICH."

"Huh...yeah, it is. Kids are expensive these days."

"Does any one else see this moment as scary?" someone mentioned. "That's TWO scars on my memory~~!"

"Stop your bitching and get with the program," Goku snapped. "Or do I have to throw you again??"

Reality came into full swing. Vegeta quickly got his emotions in check and moved aside to peer at the others. Oh Jeez...they couldn't have heard all that...

"Hey, you guys are just in time!!" Bulma exclaimed. "That dessert I was telling you about should be here any moment."

"What's so special about this dessert??" Krillin asked ignoring the temptation on Goku's face. He shifted his chair over a bit and leaned in Yamcha's direction. "You wanna let us in on it?"

"Dude, thanks but NO."

Yamcha shoved him back over but Krillin leapt out of his chair and onto his lap. Before he could even have a chance to throw him off, Krillin grinned evilly and said, "An innocent rub leads to indecent exposure..." Yamcha smirked back and waited.

Krillin was off of his lap three seconds later.

Too bad he was in Goku's reach.

"WAH! NO!! Bulma told me to do it~~~!" he wailed. Goku had snatched him up by the collar and was looking at the windows in earnest. "Come on, it wasn't my idea!!"

"I know..."

"Oh. Then what the hell man! Let me down!!"

"In a second. I think I see Bulma's surprise."

Sure enough, an innocent looking three layer cake of about four feet was wheeled over towards their table. It looked to be just that, but knowing Bulma there was something off about this cake. It was just a matter of time before her intentions were revealed.

The waiters positioned the cake at the head of the table where Goku and Vegeta happened to be standing. Vegeta barely noticed the innocent finger pointing their way. What the hell was that woman up to?! For lack of better judgment he decided to ask, but that quickly took a backseat to the balking mouths of several of their members. Gohan was doing a marvelous impression of his father when he was in shock, and Videl looked no better with her eyes about to pop out of her head. Goten choked down the chicken he was munching on. Trunks spat out the drink he had in his hand, then downed it in one gulp. Chi-chi gasped and stared at them wide eyed with her hands over her mouth.

What the hell did Bulma do?!

Eighteen blinked at first, then smirked a little with a slight laugh. Yamcha held his head down on the table. He kept a grip on his sides and shook uncontrollably. For a moment they thought he was having a seizure. That thought was quickly sliced in half with his snickering. That idiot was laughing! Vegeta had half the mind to stomp him senseless, but the silence was ripped out of them when Krillin screamed.

"OH MY GOD...BULMA, are you serious!?" he wailed frantically waving his arms about. "NO WAY!! NOOO WAYY!!"

She winked. "We'll see in a moment."

What the hell?? Goku looked at Vegeta. Vegeta looked at Goku. No one understood the woman. Dismissing her for the moment, they turned their attentions to the cake left sitting at their backs.

Goku promptly dropped Krillin.

Vegeta gawked.

Bulma giggled from behind and said nothing. She didn't have to. Vegeta said it all when he turned to Goku and screamed, "YOU TOLD?!"

"HELL NO! I didn't say anything to anyone! I...BULMA!!!"

"BUL-BULMA!!?! Damn it, I told you she'd figure it out!!"

"I know that, but I didn't think she'd figure that out! Damn it...at least she didn't figure out the other part."

"What that I'm having your baby?"

Everyone stopped breathing long enough to scream, "WHAAAAAAT?!". Goku and Vegeta smirked to themselves, laughing as most of the men fell out of their seats. Well, their bonding was out in the open thanks to that cake that said "Congrats on the Bonding!", so why not get even with the other little tidbit of news no one knew? It was enough to get a laugh out of Vegeta as he leaned into Goku. Goku chuckled himself and placed his hands over where Vegeta's rested by instinct alone. If that wasn't confirmation, then the slight spark of unknown ki in room sealed the deal.

Secrets never remained secrets in this mismatched family.

* * *

Wait! There's MORE! :) Read and review people!


	4. Stray Wishes

Knocked UP

Standard Disclaimers:

I don't own anyone in the DBZ saga, nor do I seek to gain profit from it.  
I DO, however, seek to giggle my head off in glee as I put certain characters through the joys of...

*dramatic pause*

PARENTHOOD

**Before** and _After..._

* * *

**Part 3:**  
**Stray Wishes  
**a.k.a.  
**Mothers and Fathers**

* * *

It wasn't really of any surprise to find himself in a situation like this. Things like this always tended to happen. Most times he thought nothing more of it than it being another part of life that came and went just like every other moment. That's the way life tended to be, and he was content to leave it just as is.

Unfortunately, others didn't see it that way. LIFE didn't see it that way.

"Vegeta, you shouldn't be on your feet! You should be resting..."

He shuddered for the fifth time that morning and looked over his shoulder. His own face was staring back at him expectantly, willing him to sit with that damned eyebrow reaching to the far corners of his forehead. Never in this life time would he have thought to see that look peering so intently at him unless it was in his dreams and he was five again. Feeling as if he had lost fifty-one years of his life in that one look, he sulked and planted himself on the couch much to his own relief. Being this keyed up had its disadvantages and worrying like this was not in the plan. Neither was listening to the elder version of himself bitching silently about the cleanliness of the house. The house was as clean as it could get! Hadn't his mate scrubbed down everything twice already?!

He sighed to himself and decided to let well enough alone. There was no use in trying to repeat the cycle that had gotten him like this in the first place....

* * *

**_Three weeks ago..._**

They kept asking them if they were playing a joke or not; kept asking them if they were on some hidden camera show or something of the like...and every time they asked that, he would find himself getting a little angrier. They had just reason to doubt that something like this could happen. After all, they were mortals--mere humans and nothing more than fragile beings of a vast universe. Humans got themselves into more trouble than it was worth half of the time, and he, to this very day, could not for the life of him figure out how the hell they had lived this long. All this questioning and doubt was enough to make a saiyan of his caliber silence them all if he were the way he used to be. Then again, he couldn't fault them for their ignorance. They naturally assumed that since he was outwardly male, he was nothing more. Just a Male. On this planet, men didn't have babies. Oh sure, Nameks could lay eggs by spitting them up, but men couldn't have babies.

So, when they questioned him once more, it took everything he had not to grab the idiot who had questioned him and shove his face into the table. Goku had that pleasure, although he just slapped the table hard enough to snap it in half. Everyone shut up then. He folded his arms over the growing bulge that had started this mess and looked away from them.

"Do I have to spell it out for you?!" Goku snarled. "YES, he is CARRYING my CHILD!! If someone asks again, there will be bodies flying!"

"Whoa, chill out Goku!" Yamcha yelled. "You have to admit, things like this don't happen!"

"He's a dude...dudes don't get knocked up...." Krillin muttered in his confusion. "How the hell...and those two of all people??"

"I find it a little strange myself," Bulma mused. "Why this long? And why didn't you tell us about it Vegeta??"

"It's not like you needed to know," he murmured. "Besides, I wasn't planning on mating with Kakorrot back then. It wasn't even a real thought until certain activities had transpired."

"So you're blaming me for getting you that drunk?"

"Did I say I was?!"

"Vegeta...this is serious....if you are indeed pregnant, we have to be careful! We don't have the technology to tend to a case like this. If word gets out---"

"Who's going to tell?! It's not like anyone will believe us! They still believe that idiot Mr. Satan saved the world!"

"Eh, he's got a point there Bulma," Videl mentioned sheepishly. Pan huffed at the mention of her grandfather. "When it comes to things like this, who's going to believe?"

"Everyone who hasn't paid the earth a little visit yet," she muttered darkly. She turned her gaze upon the full blooded saiyans and crossed her arms hotly over her chest. "You know damned well that you have more than your fair share of enemies! If one of them were to find out that the two of you had or will have a child together...god, you've already seen what we've all been through! Vegeta...are you prepared to face something like that?"

They were rejecting him. They were rejecting the thought of him carrying his mate's heir. After all that they had gone through, this was the end result?! The slackened and shocked looks upon their varied faces was enough of an answer for him. They were unsure of what to think about this, or too freaked out to say anything. If he weren't already a saiyan he would have thought something was wrong with him.

And then there was that nagging little issue that had been bothering him for a while now. She was right. They didn't have the technology or the know how to deal with something like this. He himself didn't know but so much about it and now he was wishing that he had a chance to find out. He found himself drowning in the desire to know that he and his child would be all right, and screaming at the innate fear taking hold of him by his spine. What if something went wrong? What if he couldn't make it that far? What would he do if he...

Everything that he had shoved aside because of Goku's silent strength came back with such a wave he thought he was going to hurl then and there. He hunched over and shuddered violently. He couldn't breathe.

"Vegeta?!"

Vegeta had heard enough. Wordlessly he lifted himself and Goku's future child out of his seat and walked off with as much dignity as he could muster. He had long before felt the stinging pressure of his eyes threatening to overwhelm him. It wouldn't due for him to be caught with his guard down again. He walked quickly and swiftly out of their sights, his eyes clouding heavily as he walked back to their room. Thankfully it wasn't a far cry from where they happened to be and he shut himself inside the room before the dam could break.

Meanwhile, Goku was in the middle of ripping Bulma a new one. Bulma gave back as good as she got. Goku bristled and let his anger flash in his eyes, items lifting themselves and falling as he stalked up to her. Bulma stood firm in her spot. She was right. He knew she was right. That, however was no reason to get Vegeta riled up like that!

"Damn it Goku, what are you going to do if he lost that baby because of our inferior technology?!" she snapped. "You forget, he's a prince! Plus he's a saiyan! I don't know the full workings of a saiyan, let alone a full blooded one!"

"No one said you had to, but for Fuck's sake Bulma, did you have to run your fucking mouth like that?! He's already got insecurities and you've just succeeded in making him totally paranoid!"

"I did n--"

"---YES you did!! I'll be lucky if I'm able to get him to do **anything** now!"

"Shit..."

"You of all people should know better than anyone what worrying your fool head off is like when it comes to being a mother...but damn it, don't tell us! We've fought...we deal with the guilt of knowing that anyone of you could be killed because we are who we are! Now he's about to go through the same THING...and I don't know about him but it's all I can do not to lose my lunch just thinking about it."

"...but Goku...you still have to be careful. Vegeta's not young..."

Goku was cut off by a stray blast coming from the outside. He and Gohan instantly rose or ran over to where most of the commotion was going on. It didn't take but a glance to see that there was something new on the loose, and it was tearing up the beach laughing insanely.

The strongest of them cracked his knuckles. One outlet for his anger was in his immediate sights.

* * *

The first stinging moments of a light coming on was the first thing he felt when awareness finally hit him. He opened his eyes and groaned in protest to that bright light shining down. So busy trying to rub his eyes of the spots, he never really noticed the firm body waltzing over towards him. It took a moment to realize that someone was in front of him, and that the person before him was none other than his mate squatting down to his level.

"Babe, what are you doing on the floor??"

The floor?? He looked down and realized that he was indeed on the tiled floor of the bathroom. He looked about and recognized that this wasn't his bathroom, but the bathroom of the hotel in which they were residing. Just when had he passed out in the bathroom? Why was he...

Goku moved out of the way as Vegeta scrambled past him to worship the porcelain goddess. He sighed.

Was it really that bad?

"K-kakorrot...."

Vegeta half whined and half sobbed reaching out for his mate. Goku was at his side in an instant, tucking the shivering saiyan prince in his arms to let him soak his shirt with his cries. He'd never seen Vegeta like this, and it only worried him a little more than before. Being stressed out like this couldn't have been good for the baby, or Vegeta for that matter. Despite rocking him in reassurance, the smaller saiyan sobbed openly, screaming and shouting through his crying about the baby, being rejected by the others, not wanting anything to go wrong, and finally screaming something along the lines of, "I want my father!!" Goku ignored the last bit, though he could sympathize. Besides, Vegeta would later deny he said anything of the sort.

He had to get him to calm down. It was the only way he was going to talk some sense into him.

"Shh...babe, it's all right..." he soothed. "Everything's fine...."

"Everything is not fine!" he sniffled. He coughed through another sob and reached out to grab tissue off of the roll. "They don't want our baby!"

Okay...Saiyan Mood swings were now added to the _**strange shit**_ list. "Hey, who said that?"

"They didn't have to!! It was all over their faces!!"

"Babe, they're only worried about you. It wasn't that serious..."

"So you're saying that I'm not enough to be taken seriously?! That I mean nothing?!"

"No, No! That's not it!"

"Then what is?! Because damn it I'm not giving up my baby!"

"No one said you had to..."

"But...but Bulma..."

Goku mentally smacked his head. Damn it, why hadn't he seen it before?! Without another word uttered from him in protest to his feelings, he swooped down and stole his lips. Vegeta instantly went limp, a dry sob wracking his body every now and again. Goku pulled away only to reign light kisses on his tear-stained cheeks, his running nose, and his quivering chin. He felt his mate calm himself much to his quiet relief. Vegeta had never, not once aside that little moment on Namek, cried as heavily as he did now. He pressed a final kiss on his brow and rocked him a little more. Hopefully, **_prayerfully_**, this wouldn't become a constant thing.

Vegeta sniffled a little more and looked up at him again. "Kakorrot...you love me??"

"Babe, you know I love you..."

"And the baby?"

"Of course!"

Vegeta wiped his face of some of his tears and looked up at Goku. "And you were serious?? When you said...I was...your mate??" he hiccupped softly. Goku mustered everything he felt for him into his gaze and nodded. Vegeta coughed a little and wiped another tear away. "You w-weren't ...just...s-saying that??"

"No. Now stop crying so...it's all right."

A weak nod was all he could muster. Crying as he had under the influence of those damned hormones had worn him out! No one had mentioned that he would get all girly like and emotional so easily. That should have come in that little packet his father had handed him when he was of age. Maybe then he would have mentally prepped himself for sitting on his mates lap crying like the bitch he felt like. He crossed his arms and settled for leaning into his mate as he was lifted. As tired as he was, the floor wasn't so appealing now. Right now, all he wanted to do was get in the bed and fall asleep again.

"Um, babe?"

"Hm??"

"I know...this is a little sudden, but I've got to go and get...the Dragon Balls..."

A glare fixed itself upon a rather upset face. "What?!"

"You see...after you left..."

"Don't tell me. Some idiot came out of nowhere and started trashing the place. This happens EVERY vacation!!"

"I know, I know babe, and believe me I don't like it anymore than you do."

"So why do **you** have to get the balls??"

"Um...because I can gather them the quickest. Remember? Instant Transmission?"

".....nooooo~~~ Don't leave me here!"

Oh. Dear. GOD. Was he whining?! He knew it, and he knew his mate was aware of it, but at the moment he didn't care. He latched onto him for dear life and let his hormones take over. "Kakorrrrooooot....stay here...stay with me," he whined softly. "Who cares if the place is trashed, just don't goooooo~~!"

It took a few moments, but Goku pried Vegeta off of him and placed him on the bed. "Fifteen seconds! Twenty tops, I swear...just sit here and count to twenty..." he exclaimed before Vegeta to attach himself again. "If I'm not back by then, you can have anything you want and I won't say a word."

"....you promise?"

"Cross my heart."

The saiyan prince nodded and closed his eyes. He didn't need to see in order to know Goku was gone. His hormones threatened to make short work of him but he held them in check and started to count.

* * *

**Five minutes later....**

"Oi, Goku....what took you so long?! You and Vegeta weren't shagging again, were you?!"

Goku opened his mouth and found Vegeta's voice coming out of it. "I'll have you know that my sex life is NONE of your business!!" he snapped. "And what of it?!"

Yamcha wisely backed off. Goku smiled nervously and mouthed the word hormones to him. Ah. That explained it. All the more reason to move out of his way.

Vegeta stomped irritably out into the open and looked about. Sand. Sand. More Sand. What on earth did they need the Dragon Balls for?! Goku whirled him around and pointed out towards the horizon. Ah. No **Ocean**.

"How the hell did he manage that?" he murmured.

"A huge laser..."

"Oh. Hurry up already and call the dragon...I want to go back to bed."

Goku wasted no time in dropping the balls and calling forth the mighty dragon Shenron. The skies darkened themselves accordingly and crackled loudly under the load roar of that Dragon making its appearance for the first time this summer. It wouldn't be the last. Everyone, even the dragon knew it. Their lives were just strange like that. Shenron kept a sigh to himself and peered down at the puny mortals. He idly wondered what the hell he was going to have to fix this time.

**WHAT IS YOUR WISH?**

"Hey Shenron!"

**OH. HEY GOKU. HOW'S LIFE?**

"Good...good."

**THAT'S GOOD. HEY, CONGRATS ON THE BRAT. **

"Thanks!!"

**YOU CAN THANK ME BY KEEPING HIM ON A LEASH AT TWO.**

Goku laughed nervously and rubbed the side of his face. Being insulted by a dragon was so demeaning at times. "Hey, can you do me a favor and just...put the ocean back the way it used to be?" he asked lightly. "Someone...kind of evaporated it."

Shenron rolled his eyes. Like he had nothing else to do. Honestly, why didn't the mortals just wish that they would be left alone in peace? Whatever the case, he granted their wish and willed the Ocean and all its inhabitants to come back to life. No sooner had the last drop of water been replaced, he half expected them to tell him that they were saving the last two wishes for another time. This wasn't to be. He barely heard it, but the desire was strong enough within them for him to sense what they wanted. It was only a matter of twisting history a bit...and then he could sit back and watch the show. He smirked a little. It was better than sleeping until the next time they needed him. He wasn't a freaking handy man...

**YOUR WISHES HAVE BEEN GRANTED. I BID YOU FAREWELL....**

Wishes? W-wishes?! Goku blinked and called out to Shenron but the Dragon had vanished along side the dragon balls. Why the dragon balls had vanished was anyone's guess, but Goku knew Shenron didn't want to be found. That sneaky dragon had pulled a fast one and granted an unconscious wish! But who's?!

"Kakorrot, why do you look like you've just swallowed something even you won't eat?" Vegeta questioned softly.

"Um..."

A bright light flashed before he could answer them. The deafening hum of someone from far away coming into this reality made his stomach flip in the wrong direction. He spun about, shielding himself and his mate from the light as the hum grew to its crescendo and died abruptly. The light that blinded them so was soon gone, replaced by the flickering rays of the sun on a cloudy afternoon. At first no one could tell what had happened. There was nothing to see, nothing to do, or witness. There was only the sea, the horizon, and Goku and Vegeta walking towards Goku and Vegeta.

Wait WHAT?!

Goku and Vegeta peered anxiously at what appeared to be themselves quickly approaching them. The light quickly cleared up that little notion. If anything they looked to be slighted versions of their older selves, although the other Vegeta looking fellow had a bearded Goti the king of Vegeta-sei was famous for wearing. He was also a taller...much taller. The tanner version of Goku sported many scars, including one tracing over his left eye. The red headband was a dead giveaway that he was a third-class saiyan for an army that had been wiped off of the face of the universe at a mad man's hands.

Vegeta blinked...and then he gawked. The elder looking replica of himself stopped short and blinked in disbelief.

"V...Vegeta?? Is...is that you son?!"

"....father??"

"FATHER?!" everyone screamed. "ARE YOU SERIOUS?!"

The former king of Vegeta-Sei held no more than a second of hesitation. He rushed forward and snatched Vegeta up into his arms. Vegeta wordlessly looked back at the others. How the hell did this happen?!

* * *

"I thought....I thought he had killed you..." he murmured for the third time that hour. Vegeta shook his head and patted the poor man's hands holding his own. "I still can't believe....after all this time, here you are!"

He was one to talk.

After a solid five minutes of convincing himself that his father was indeed real and not some figment of his imagination everyone could see, he had ushered himself, his mate, his father, and his father's general into the building with the rest of the gang. Once they were safely in the confines of the currently cleared out dinning area, the king promptly broke down. Vegeta was still at a loss for words, but his hormones got the better of him again. He was the next one sobbing, wailing loudly as he drove himself into his father's arms and let everything spill. Goku and his look-alike watched helplessly nearby. Father and son remained in each other's arms, sobbing and comforting one another. They stayed that way for a solid hour when the need for tissue, water, and a breather was in order.

In that hour of sobbing like the big babies they were, Vegeta found out that his father had barely lived to tell the tale. Though Frieza had honestly shot him where it counts, it wasn't enough to keep the king from hanging on to what little life he had. He was later found by some refugees and taken far from their home planet with what little remnants of their planet remained. Many had been killed that day. There was no doubt of that. However, Vegeta didn't know if the remaining saiyans had been hunted down or not. It turned out that they were, but Freiza had caught wind of the dragon balls at that point and left them to die out.

Die out they did not. There were enough of them for them to start breeding again when everyone was settled and healed upon their sister planet Vegeta-Sai. The king had retained his title and rebuilt his kingdom from what they had been left with. Nothing. Of course they remained well out of the sights of the House of Cold and sought nothing to do with the outside world until they could be sure of their status. Saiyans were and forever would be a proud race of warriors, though it seemed that they decided that their place was amongst themselves and those like them. From what his father told him, today's saiyans wanted little to do with anyone looking to harness their power.

"....I thought that bastard had...had..." The former king sighed and forced himself to calm down. Thinking about it always made his blood boil. "Damn it, if only I knew...If I knew...who had killed him..."

"Father...Kakorrot killed him," Vegeta soothed. "That freak is never coming back..."

"I should hope NOT. Not when my son is going to make me a grandfather!" He was all grins then. Vegeta smiled a bit, though inwardly he was grimacing. Being as old as he was, there wasn't going to be a litter. He would be lucky if he managed to have two, let alone one. Still there was no way of knowing just yet so he left it for later. His father, on the other hand, was eager to find the person responsible for making him a grandfather. "So, where's your mate? Is it this Kakorrot I keep hearing about??" he asked looking about.

"Yes...he's quite strong, father," he offered. "Much stronger than most."

"He has to be if he killed that freak. Wait...Burdock, wasn't that the name of your boy?"

Burdock, the silent soldier, nodded tersely. Goku sighed silently and eyed Burdock looking him over intently. The older man was clearly in shock, still disbelieving that after being left to die as he had he was now standing before his very own son he'd sent to some remote planet. His visions certainly hadn't shown him this outlook. He hadn't seen beyond that moment he was being fried by that sphere! A part of him wanted to reach out and touch the younger saiyan, but the main part of him didn't quite dare. Maybe...hopefully...this wasn't a dream.

"Burdock??"

"Hn?"

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing your highness. Just...speechless."

"Hmph...that's a first. Vegeta, introduce me to your mate. Where is he?"

Goku walked up behind Vegeta and rested his hands on his shoulders. The former king blinked once, and again, and a third time. Burdock rolled his eyes and moved to stand behind the king. In an instant the king was wearing a pair of bifocals that quickly allowed him to see what he hadn't before. He balked and pointed accusingly at Goku. "Wait a minute...you're Kakorrot!?" he cried. "I thought your name was Goku!"

"It is. That's the earth name I was given...uh..."

"Vega. Mr. Vega to you."

"....Mr. Vega. I wasn't even aware that I was a saiyan until I fought Radditz."

Vegeta laughed a bit as his father turned around to Burdock again. "Wasn't that your nephew??"

"He was adopted..."

"Right, right. So, Kakorrot....I trust you have a proper place to raise this child...seeing that this will be your first brood."

Vegeta and Goku looked to one another. A light cough and a giggle from the back only made them more aware of the group standing behind them expectantly. Vegeta dropped his head into his arms as Goku looked to the ceiling.

It was going to be a loooooong day.

* * *

"So...when are you going to start buying what you need?"

Vegeta kept himself from rolling his eyes. That long day had dragged on into three of the longest weeks of his life. Being king had its perks, and being king, Vega had placed himself on vacation as of that moment. There was a concern about him getting back to his home planet, but it turned out that the man had been passing by their planet to attend a meeting on one of the moons of Namek. It was neutral ground for all planets and a good place for negotiations to take place alongside trade and commerce. Vega happened to have a communicator on him and contacted his ship to let him know that he and Burdock were safe. A few words were exchanged in Saiyan and then here he was...ready to play the anxious grandfather.

After living life without any sort of a parent figure to do that thing parents do, having his father here was a bit unnerving...and downright annoying. His father had been asking him questions nonstop and he didn't look like he was about to let up.

"I haven't decided yet," Vegeta sighed. "This kind of thing is supposed to be for females..."

"You know as well as I do that females are rare amongst our kind."

"Ugh, you mean to tell me that hasn't changed?!"

"Not really," he said sitting aside him. "Back then, we had maybe twenty females and only two thirds of them could mate. The rest were seasoned. Our females still have a short mating cycle, but they produce large litters."

"The planet must be overrun."

"No. It's actually not. Females are stubborn, stubborn creatures. Our males with that certain trait, are not in the least bit eager to reproduce either...at least not until recently."

"Oh? And what provoked them to just up and pop out babies?"

"I haven't the foggiest. One day I'm sitting there looking at a steady population, the next thing I hear, there are litters of all sorts being born. I think I've been to several ceremonies last month alone."

Vega sighed a little, sinking into the couch a little more than before. He let his head drift backwards until his gaze fell on the ceiling above. White and the soft whir of the ceiling fan mingled with the soft breathing of himself thinking idly in his abrupt laziness. His thoughts silenced themselves and let nothing of importance flood his drifting eyes. It felt good. It felt better than anything he could have thought to do. There were no consults to tell him of menial matters. There were no soldiers constantly saluting, fighting, training, and practically clawing to get at him for one reason or another. Just that thought alone almost got a groan out of him.

He smiled to himself. When was the last time he'd done something not proper of his title?

Had it not been for Vegeta scooting over to sit under his arm, he might have just closed his eyes.

The old man had gotten older. Vegeta couldn't help but notice this, seeing his father relax in a way even he hadn't the pleasure of seeing. It was a good sign of his comfort here. Royalty had a nasty habit of seeming prude and proud when in reality all they wanted to do was sit around and do nothing. It didn't matter what house or title a saiyan of royalty held. No matter what, if you were a part of that house, you were expected to act in accordance at all times. He snorted lightly. Saiyans, as a whole, had a standard for what they would assume to be leader. That person and his or her house had to be stronger and smarter than the province or planet they ruled. If the house wasn't either, another house would move in and lay claim to the royal titles. Most times house takeovers were swift, but there were instances where a house pretended to be lax in order to take out the invading houses. His father had been one of these houses and it seemed as if he still was. There was no way to tell, not that he was trying to find out. The last thing he wanted was to be brought back into all that.

The door swung open with the sounds of mild conversation drifting into their fog. Vegeta straitened himself out enough to crane his head peering out to where the commotion was coming from. His father didn't move. His tail, on the other hand, thumped lightly on the couch. He waited patiently whilst his son kept himself from bouncing out of the chair. Had Vega not been there to keep an eye on him, both knew that Vegeta would have sprung for the door the moment it was opened. That would have led he and his father into another scolding match that ended with him pouting on the couch and his father standing over him with that LOOK.

Since he didn't want to hear or see him annoyed, he toyed with the lining of a throw pillow laying aside him. His father's lips twisted ever so faintly into a smile.

Goku walked into the room to see Vega lounging and Vegeta restlessly itching to move from where he was. Laughing was not a good thing at the moment, but he did cover his amusement with a smile. Vegeta scowled. He would find this funny.

"My...I mean...Vega...are you all right??"

Goku moved to the side to allow Burdock passage. Vega merely opened an eye and just as quickly shut it. The sound shake of his shoulders only made the soldier blush a bit as he fought for composure. "....GAH, this is harder than it looks you know!" he snapped bitterly.

"I know...which is all the more reason for you NOT to go back," Vega chuckled. "Besides...I believe Cabba wouldn't like that you've come back without me."

Goku and Vegeta watched curiously as Burdock, once stiff and rigid with proper accordance, quickly lost his composure and growled loud enough for the neighbors to hear. "Cabba can just kiss my ass!" he snarled, his fingers cramped into the fists held on either side of him. His tanned skin crackled with an energy that was all but too familiar with them, but strangely different in some manner. Goku tilted his head curiously. He hadn't known Burdock long enough to ask him to spar. There was no telling just what this guy could do, but there was a distinct feeling that whatever it was, it was something the king admired. He all but purred where he sat watching Burdock lose his mind over this Cabba person.

"Who's Cabba?" Goku asked. His father grimaced at the name, glaring at no one in particular but glaring still the same. Muttered cursing in saiyan had Vega laughing and soon getting to his feet. "Cabba," he chuckled as Burdock growled again, "Is my advisor. He and Burdock don't see eye to eye."

"What did you expect?!" Burdock cried angrily. "He wants party favors! I want a strong nation! I don't see why we're forced to go to EVERY social event listed in the fucking galaxy!!"

"It makes for a good impression, and we don't want to be too elusive. Wary, yes."

"I understand that, but could we attend the important events?! What the hell significance is there in going to an event worshipping the sun?! Oh, and the party happens to BE NEAR IT!! Oh, and don't get me started on his constant babbling about changing the uniforms to be fashionable! Uniforms are meant to protect!! Who would take us seriously wearing pink?!"

"Fuchsia."

"It's STILL PINK!! AGH, you live to aggravate me don't you!?" he snapped watching the king laugh soundly. "I swear, if he tries it ONE MORE TIME..."

Vega lurched forward and calmed his ranting. Vegeta blinked owlishly at the two of them, almost missing Goku sitting down aside him. He wasn't expecting this...

"Tease."

...not in the least.

Burdock huffed lightly, clearly in a much better mood than he had been before. Vega grinned softly and rested his head on his shoulders. The saiyan was a sucker for punishment.

Goku peered down at Vegeta from the corner of his eye. "Is...this kind of thing normal?" he asked softly.

None of this was normal. He nodded an kept a sigh to himself. What was normal these days anyhow? There was no use in questioning it, or questioning the relationship sitting, or rather standing before them. He sat back and allowed his hands to fall on the more than visible swell that had planted itself dutifully in the center of his abdomen. This bulge had definitely gotten bigger over the last three weeks.

"....shit!"

"Vegeta?? What's the matter??"

"....I forgot about Bulma."

"....oh shit."

* * *

And there is more~~! Read and review pleaaaaasse!"


	5. Gurgling dreams

Knocked UP

Standard Disclaimers:

I don't own anyone in the DBZ saga, nor do I seek to gain profit from it.  
I DO, however, seek to giggle my head off in glee as I put certain characters through the joys of...

*dramatic pause*

PARENTHOOD

**Before** and _After..._

* * *

**Part 4:**  
Gurgling dreams**  
**a.k.a.  
**You're really in there, aren't you?**

* * *

"I really don't see the need for you to see that woman," his father griped silently. "Haven't you been through enough?"

Vegeta said nothing on the subject matter at first. He was too busy watching Goku flex his grip again and again upon the steering wheel as they drove down the road. Burdock's tail twitched angrily in the seat aside his mate, his own hands thrust into his lap as he fought not to growl. He didn't have to look at his own father to know that he was just as equally upset. They had good reason to be. If there was nothing else in this world that they could have had in common, their contempt for the woman they were traveling to see would have been the bond that kept them going.

He muttered inwardly and looked to his expectant father drumming his fingers on his thigh. "Well?" he snorted lightly. "What's the reason?"

Three weeks ago, they had the pleasure of explaining their lives to their fathers. Naturally his own father thought that he and Goku had been together for a long while. Oh, that was NOT the case. Deciding to keep the fruitful details out of that little incident, Goku had taken the liberty of retelling their lives from start to finish. At least here on earth. Vegeta decided to keep quiet about his time with that freak, Frieza. Not many knew of the actual ongoing agendas when it came to the bastard. He was pretty sure that his mate didn't know, but he couldn't be to sure. If he did know, he chose to ignore it.

One would have expected the king of Vegeta-sei to have blown a royal gasket knowing that his son's descendants were half breeds. For a prince's sons to lay claim to the crown, those sons must be legitimate and of full blooded status. There were other things to consider, like Goku's official status, and the fact that he hadn't courted him in the proper manner. Vegeta fully expected his father to fly off the handle, being a man of tradition, but he didn't. Instead, he looked Goku squarely in the eye and threatened to tear off more than his tail if he harmed Vegeta in any manner. That warning was extended to everyone except his and Burdock's grandchildren, and great grandchildren in Burdock's case. Needless to say he glared Bulma's way next, already well aware of the trauma she had caused.

Vegeta muttered to himself and shook his head. Ever since then Vegeta had been kept well out of her sights. It wasn't as if he could help it. His damned hormones relayed everything an hour beforehand.

"Sometimes it's just better to let her have her way," he mumbled. "Otherwise...life gets harder. You didn't have to come you know..."

"What, and let some human who knows nothing about saiyan pregnancies place you at risk?! I think NOT."

"Father..."

"What?! I just found you! I'm not losing my only heir again."

That was news to his ears. Vegeta looked at him blankly digesting his words. "You mean...you've never had any...aside me??" he questioned.

Vega shook his head and looked out of the window for a moment. Vegeta waited silently. He could feel Burdock's concern from the front seat, his eyes peering out of the far corners of them to spy the saiyan king looking miserably outside at the passing world. It was more than apparent that there was a story waiting to be told, but that pain would not shed itself today. Vega shook his head silently at his son and offered him no more than a soft, "You were a special child...there would never be another like you." After that, the king remained silent. His concern for his regained son drowned out the memories, but did not silence them.

Vegeta pondered lightly at this, his hands softly caressing the growing mound upon his midsection. All three saiyans sitting within this car had their reasons why they didn't want him going to her house. His father was highly upset that she had scared him in such a manner, not to mention treated him like he was nothing more than a commoner. That was mainly his fault, seeing that he was nothing more than that when he thought his heritage would die with he and Goku. Both men were the father of half-breeds, and half-breeds tended to lose the fine line of saiyan traits as their line progressed into the future. He had been convinced at the time that he and Goku would be the last two saiyans of full blood to die, so he sought not to correct her or anyone else.

Despite his thoughts of dying aside Goku as the last, fate and that evil son of a bitch beer had tossed him for a real loop. He never ever thought to guess that his bumbling idiot would be a sex crazed fiend who knew what the hell he was doing. He certainly never dreamt that he could end up in bed with him, forget the urgent fact that he would be so accepting of it and MORE. Seeing that Goku didn't really know too much about his heritage, he didn't think sharing his hermaphrodite status would be a concern.

He glared at himself for that one as he looked down. This three month bulge was a steady reminder not to under estimate anything.

"You feeling all right, babe?"

He nodded and felt the soft caress of his mates mingled love and worry through the bond they shared. There was nothing he could do about it. His mate had his reasons, and well justified reasons for being angry with the woman who had started this mess. Not only had she pushed the limits of what she had said way beyond their means, that entire week they remained at the beach, Vegeta had remained holed up in their room in fear of something going wrong. Thinking back on it now, that was more hormones making his inner fears talk rather than himself. Still, it was nice having his mate so willing to dote on him when he needed it.

Then there was the slight tidbit that the entire week, Goku and he hadn't done any extracurricular activities.

The car slowed. He looked up from his thinking to eye the massive house that had once been his home. It could have been a mansion of sorts, or a castle, but he and his mate knew the true nature of this place. Memories were stuffed throughout it, good and bad, and neither one of them knew if this visit would end with them being back to normal, or holding a grudge just a bit longer than necessary. Still...there was no turning away from this. The car came to a silent stop and was shut off. The keys left their home and hung from his fingers as his mate and their fathers got out of the car. He remained seated a moment longer.

"Jeez..."

The door on his side opened. He looked up to see Burdock standing there with his hand held out. "Come on," he sighed, "Let's get this over with before your father blows something up."

He took his hand and allowed the soldier to help him out of the car. To anyone else, it may have appeared that he was doing nothing more than his job, but Vegeta knew better. He was keeping himself occupied rather than dwell on his own anger at the situation. Why was Burdock mad? Because Goku and Vega were mad. He could easily see that Burdock was the type of person that never liked to see his loved ones upset no matter what the cause. It might not have shown itself on his stern demeanor, but that mindless flick of that tail was a clear sign that he was not happy. Add two more tails like that to Burdock's, and Vegeta could clearly see the outcome if anyone did or said anything wrong.

"Um...why are we here anyway?" Vega asked as Goku rung the doorbell. Burdock stood deftly on his right foot, checking the sole of his shoes aimlessly. "You never did tell us WHY she wanted to see you..."

In all honesty, Vegeta didn't know why himself.

The door opened before he could answer. They half expected to see either Bulma or Chi-chi, but were pleasantly surprised and relieved to see none other than Pan. Behind her was Bra and Trunks, each holding what appeared to be a gift of sorts. Pan wasted no time in plastering herself to her grandfather. Goku laughed and picked her up effortlessly. Even as a nearly grown woman, she was still that kid who didn't care what anyone else thought of her. She loved her grandpa and that was that.

"Pan, you remember Burdock and Vega, don't you?"

Pan eyed the other two steadily eyeing her. She nodded and practically threw herself at Burdock. Unprepared for this method of attack, Burdock yelped and fell backwards with Pan firmly latched to his neck. They landed in a heap at Vega's feet, the king snickering lightly at the sight beneath him. Burdock rubbed his head and glared at the king. He would find something like this funny.

"Try not to kill him sweetheart," Vega chuckled. "I've still got payments on this one."

"I still can't believe it," Pan exclaimed. "I mean, you look exactly like grandpa! Mr. Vega sir, is this a common trait??"

"With Burdock's family, yeah. Males tend to look like their fathers. Females resemble their mothers."

"Oh wow...hey, I wonder if Goten's kid will look like him?? What do you think Trunks?"

"We won't know until he gets married!" Trunks laughed. "Like that will happen anytime soon."

"It might," Vega offered lightly. "Saiyan males tend not to settle down until the midpoints of their lives. Depending on what he's looking for, he could be married tomorrow...or three decades from now."

"And what about us saiyan females?" Bra questioned.

"Females are stubborn, stubborn creatures. You'll get married when you say and not a moment before." At Bra's smile he quickly added, "That is, unless you kill your mate for whatever reason. I believe our females are more vengeful that we males."

Burdock smirked a little as Pan released her death grip of him. "Ain't that the truth?"

Vegeta, highly annoyed and more than ready to sit someplace stood between them all. "You know, all of that is really fascinating, but could someone please...GET OUT OF MY WAY?!" he snapped. "I want this done so I can go home and sleep..."

"And that reminds me..." Vega turned his attentions towards Trunks still holding those gift boxes. "What in the world does your mother want?"

Trunks blinked and looked at Bra. She shrugged. "Actually, she didn't say," he replied. "We thought you might know..."

"Yeah, I mean...she's got us placing these presents in the living room for some reason," Bra said. "I thought it was for you dad..."

Vegeta furrowed his brow in thought. What was that woman up to now?

No one really had a chance to ponder about it more than a few seconds. A rush of hurried footsteps quickly took up their attention and descended upon them the only way they knew how. In a blind fury of rushing that was none other than Chi-chi.

"Oh, god...you're all here already!" she cried.

"Bulma said to be here..." Goku offered. "What's going on?"

"You'll see. Oh, where are my manners? Please, come on in! Trunks, Bra, get your asses in gear! You can talk IN the living room!"

Trunks and Bra yelped as hurricane Chi-chi ushered them off. Pan ducked back inside and rushed after them lest Chi-chi was on her next. The four saiyans left entered the building, each wondering a little more than before what the purpose of this visit was.

"Oh, hey dad!"

Goku twisted backwards and spied Gohan and Goten walking towards them with more gifts. He waved and watched them vanish as quickly as the others had when Chi-chi came dashing back in. They were shoved into the living room and she darted back screaming something about a cake. Goku shook his head. It never mattered where she was at or what she was doing, she always managed to find herself in the kitchen.

Burdock took a moment to stare at his son's half lidded eyes in remembrance. "And...you were married to that?" he asked.

"Yeah. She's a good woman...until she gets mad anyway," he added as an after thought. "Then all bets are off."

"And...how did you manage to acquire her hand?"

"Hn...met her as a kid. She helped me do something. After that, I didn't see her for a few years. Next thing I know I'm beating her in a match and she's engaged to me. It's weird now that I think about it."

Vega looked at Vegeta who rolled his eyes upward. "I don't even want to know how," Vega said.

"Good. Beer was evil then, and it still is now."

"Hey, guys!" Gohan called from the living room, "Can you come in here please?"

The four saiyans looked between the other and sighed. There was really no getting out of this now. Goku, taking Vegeta's hand in his own, headed down the hallway. Burdock and Vega trailed closely behind them. In all their time here on earth, a measly but LONG three weeks, they hadn't much gone any place other than the spacious condo Goku owned. Being that the woman who owned this house was a self proclaimed genius, taking the time to observe anything was anything BUT an option.

"Still suspicious?"

"I expect you to be the same."

"Aren't I always?"

"What are you two gabbing about now?" Vegeta asked.

"Wondering if that kid will look like his daddy is all," his father smirked, "Or if the whole lot of them will be replicas of you."

"Why do you insist that I'm having a litter?"

"Oh...just a hunch. If Goku's as strong as you say he is, then I very much believe that you've got your work cut out for you."

Goku shrugged and decided not to reply to that. He and Vegeta had agreed not to reveal just how strong either one of them were to their parents. There was no way to tell if pride would cloud their better judgments or if jealousy would get in the way of what was the best course of action. Then again, they didn't exactly know their parent's limits either. At the moment it was just best not to assume.

Goku led them strait into the depths of the living room. He stopped short, Vegeta coming to stand aside him with his mouth agape. Vega and Burdock were a little more composed, though one could clearly see that they were equally shocked at what they were seeing.

"Oh...dear....god..." Vegeta mumbled through his disbelief. A strong arm kept him from succumbing to the weak feeling in his knees. His mate kept a firm hold on him despite his own neck craning to get a better look at the room. "What the...?"

"SURPRISE!! CONGRATS ON THE BABY VEGETA!!"

The loud applause dawned in his ears dimly under the sounds of his thundering heart. He looked about wildly. Everyone was there. Everyone they could have known was there! Yamcha sat clapping giddily on the couch with Mrs. Briefs smiling aside him. Krillin and Eighteen were near them, smirking or looking a little uneasy about this whole thing. Pan, Bra, and Marron were all bunched together and giggling like the girls they were. Not too far from the lot of them were Trunks and Goten, each clapping or whistling their enthusiasm. Never in his life would he have thought to imagine this. Had he done so years ago, he might have killed himself for going insane before his time.

A slight flash of green had him glancing to the right. Again he gawked, but not because the Namek was there. No. Piccolo was there with the company of Dende, each smiling or smirking that smirk that meant someone knew something more than he was going to tell. Vegeta toyed with the idea of forcing the green man to spit it out but thought better of it. He was too busy blinking at the three green faces aside their own.

"Piccolo??!" Goku cried. "What the...when...HUH?!"

Piccolo laughed gently under that smirk. It lightened up considerably in a second. "Well, " he said softly, "Some things change."

"A hell of a lot..." Vegeta muttered. "When did all this happen??"

"We started six years ago..." Dende said looking down at their eldest. Their eldest child clung to his mother's robes, painfully shy but determined not to let the others intimidate him. He kept half of his youthful face hidden and the other half fixed firmly on the saiyans. He was the spitting image of piccolo when he was a boy, right down to the little scowl that planted itself on his small mouth. His hands unconsciously tightened upon his mother's robes, mouth quivering as Piccolo told him to say hello.

"....H...H-hell-l-o..."

"Aw, he's shy..." Goku cooed. "What's his name?"

"This is Kamicolo," Piccolo answered.

"Kamicolo...pretty cool name."

Their gazes fell to the second of their brood sitting at his father's feet. He didn't seemed to be interested in anything other than the little wooden shoes on his feet. He grabbed at them and giggled, tipping himself over to lie on his back facing his father's smiling face peering down at him. He offered up his little arms and squealed in delight having his father lift him up to rest on his shoulders. "And this one," Piccolo chuckled, "Is Pico. He's three."

"Pi-Pico!!" the three year old Namek laughed. "M--Pico!"

The last of their little green family rested soundly against Dende. He was swaddled in a cotton blanket of white with green and purple bordering stripes that kept the little one from noticing the draft from the air conditioner. His face was the picture of serene--innocent, silent, and dreaming those dreams only babies knew. He seemed to be the little version of Dende, unlike his brothers who looked too much like their father for words. Dende smiled again as he looked down at their newest addition. "And our most recent one," he laughed silently, "has no name just yet. He's only recently been hatched."

"I had no idea that there were Nameks here on this planet," Vega mused aloud. "Usually your kind his very isolated."

Piccolo regarded him with a respectful stance, though it was more than apparent that he was a bit wary of the king. "Living here with them doesn't leave you much choice in socializing."

"The woman brought you down here, didn't she."

"Yes. YES she did."

It was a little more than obvious that she had done more than just that. Roshi was here, as was his turtle shaking its head at the perverse magazine the old man harbored. A stray cane and the threat of a misfortunate accident alerted them to the presence of Ba-ba and Korin. Goku had to blink a bit seeing he white haired cat standing there as if nothing had changed. Age could not be seen upon the white fur adorned on this being, nor could age be felt as he laughed at the antics of Ba-ba and Roshi. They each wished the saiyan couple a good day before turning back to their own activities.

The only ones of the old gang that hadn't been seen in quite some time, where Tien and Chou-Zu. Goku bit his lip silently. It was a good thing they weren't here. He didn't think that they would take kindly to something like this. At least Tien anyhow.

The smell of food captured everyone's noses. Chi-chi, Videl, and the hostess of this evening's events waltzed into the room pushing a cart of their own. Each cart was decorated with for them to dine on, ranging from the minor snack like things for people who didn't care to eat just yet, down to the main course sizzling in its pan as it had come fresh from the oven. On the last cart was yet another massive cake, although this one didn't say "Congrats on your bonding!". Vegeta had to roll his eyes at the woman's sense of humor, already regretting that smile of hers as she motioned to the words planted upon the sides of this cake.

"Bouncing Baby Bunting??" Goku and Burdock mused aloud. Father and son shared a glance and said nothing. Humans were stranger than life at times.

"Hey, Vegeta! Glad you could make it!" Bulma greeted. "Nice to see you all again."

"Bulma..." Vegeta whined quietly, "Whhhy did you do this??"

"....it's my way....of apologizing to you for what I said," she answered. Her stride haven't changed in her entire lifetime, she was in front of him and bowing her apologies in less than five seconds. Vega, having placed himself before her and Vegeta lifted a cautious brow to her actions. Had it been anyone else, they would have had to make their apologies with their own spilt blood as payment for their transactions. Yet, this not being Vegeta-sei, or anywhere near the era where that would have been valid, he crossed his arms and waited for her explanation with Goku and Burdock on either side of him.

"Vegeta, I had no intentions of making you upset," Bulma explained, "however, I wanted to make you aware of all the dangers with you carrying Goku's child."

"What's wrong with carrying my son's child?!" Burdock snapped.

"Nothing...except that he is the strongest one of all within the known universe. People constantly come after him."

"Strongest....in the universe?? Is that true??"

"Of course it's true!" Bulma exclaimed ignoring Goku's pleading eyes for her NOT to complete that mental list. "He's defeated Radditz, Nappa, he and Vegeta tied back then, then he went on to fight the Ginyu force, then he beat the snot out of Frieza when he went super saiyan...of course Krillin had to die..."

"S-super saiyan?!" Vega cried. Burdock blinked in silence and eyed his sheepish looking son trying to play it down. He hissed at her not to say anymore but she was already on a tangent.

"Then there was Vegeta's son who killed the remaining house of Cold, And then Goku's son killed Cell after Goku did major damage to that asshole, and he went on to defeat a number of people before he defeated Majin Buu, and Bebi...of course by then, he was level 4..."

"L-L-Level 4?!"

"Kakorrot!! Is what this woman says true?!" Burdock cried. "T-that...t-that you're a..."

Goku rubbed the back of his head grinning nervously. "Um...can we pretend...that it never...came up? heheheheh....eh..."

Everyone surrounding the saiyans held their collective breaths. Vega and Burdock were stunned to silence. Sucking his teeth lightly, Vegeta glared at Bulma as he tried to assess the situation. On one hand, his father could completely blow up and go on a rampage trying to deny that a third class saiyan was stronger than his own child. Burdock could take high offense to this, and Goku and he would be forced to watch them fight about it. On the other hand, they could just faint from the news.

He hoped for option number two as they faced each other. "Oh boy..."

"Dad, it's not like I meant...to...well, yeah I did but--"

"Kakorrot, SHUT UP."

"Yes sir..."

Burdock sighed and promptly smacked Goku in the back of his head. "I can't believe you didn't say something to me!" he snapped. "Damn it, that's not an easy feat to do! You could have saved Vega and I a lot of grief!!"

"Huh?! What are you talking about?!"

"We weren't sure if you were that strong," Vega said. "We were trying to set up some kind of system where our elites could watch Vegeta when you weren't around. Of course that meant finding elites that are of your status and there was no way to determine that because I don't have a scouter."

"Vegeta is the only known heir to Vegeta-sei," Burdock explained. "Vega did not HAVE anymore because he only wanted Vegeta. His reign would have ended with him and the place would have become a democracy or sorts. The head generals would rule the provinces and would vote on what was best for the planet, but there would be the task of picking out those who have GOOD intentions. We've still got idiots looking to place our race at the head of the game in the strength area rather than thinking about our people as a whole. We were used once, we aren't about to be used again."

"According to the rule of monarchies, a single house may rule the provinces or divide them amongst several houses. The house of Vegeta has ruled as a single house and very few are in it. I wanted to test the other houses to see who would do the best, but I find that the heads of most of these houses are not suited for the job," Vega sighed. "Too eager to please me to gain favor...or get in my bed. Not that it's going to happen," he quickly added when he heard Burdock snarl his displeasure. "But since the houses are ruled by strength, the person intended to take over would have to be as strong or stronger than myself. Goku..."

"Yes??"

"You've bonded with my son, correct? He has a mark?"

Vegeta unconsciously covered that heart shaped mark on the side of his neck. Goku smiled. "Yeah..."

"And you're stronger than Vegeta, right?"

"Physically...he's smarter than me most times."

"Good. Then congrats. You're next in line to become leader of Vegeta-sei."

Vegeta had the pleasure of watching his mate pale under the various screams of "WHAAAT?!" He neatly stepped out of the way, sighed, and watched his mate hit the floor with their parents grinning over him. He should have figured this would happen.

* * *

_**Three hours later....**_

"Are you sure about this?"

A discarded bag of ice lay melting on a table somewhere. The living room having gone quiet, was littered with the remains of a party to celebrate one life and apologize to the person in charge of it.

"Of course I'm sure. It'll be painless."

Presents laid scattered upon the floor, some opened and some unopened. The left over food was being wheeled into the kitchen; the plates and garbage being collected to place the room back in its original order. The guests had long since gone.

"Ah!! That's freaking cold!!"

"Sorry, sorry...it'll be worth it in the end."

The party was over. Life had gone on and everyone had sought out an evening for themselves. People they hadn't seen in who knew how long had left wishing them the best of luck. There were the jabs about coming to interrogate certain parties, but it was all in good fun. Silent presents were passed along with handshakes, unspoken words speaking volumes in a language any one could understand. It was enough to reassure, but not enough to confirm. Family was the next to leave, well wishing placed with hugs and kisses, handshakes and nods. Sons smiled at them, daughters giggled, but they were content with the situation.

"And...just relax..."

"Easier said than done....I'm going to have to pee in a few..."

"Hold it for as long as you can. This won't take long."

Their closest friends had gone after their families, confused, elated, and uncaring. Overall, no one had objections. It was just another weird phenomenon of the world they lived in. They wished them luck and departed with choice words; some silently telling them that it didn't matter, others telling them that they truly hoped things would pan out. A small sliver of a smile, however small it was honestly, was enough of an acceptance for their blessings. It gave them hope, and it gave someone else an opportunity to give them yet another gift.

His father and Burdock sat nearby watching in awe as the picture came to life. His mate--forever the overgrown teddy-bear--squeezed their linked hands together a little more. The device upon his swollen belly stilled and left him to look at the image withering his resolve into nothing. The back of his eyelids stung a little more than they had, his lower lip trembling as he fought his overbearing hormones. A light kiss on the side of his head killed that little bit of determination and he laid there, tears rolling down his cheeks, his free hand placed against his mouth. His mate smiled against his cheek. Could this have been the happiest moment?

"Oh...whoa..."

"Hn? What is it??"

She only turned on the sound and beamed happily as their fathers leapt out of their seats cheering. "Congrats papas...you've got a nice set of twins in here."

No. The happiest moment was seeing it for himself--that it wasn't just fat settling there, but two new lives looking to make their appearance into the world. He closed his eyes and hugged the life out of his mate.

Damned Hormones...

* * *

Part 5 coming soon!

Read and Review PLEAAAAAAASE~~! :D


	6. Falling Forward

**Knocked UP**

Standard Disclaimers:

I don't own anyone in the DBZ saga, nor do I seek to gain profit from it.  
I DO, however, seek to giggle my head off in glee as I put certain characters through the joys of...

*dramatic pause*

PARENTHOOD

**Before** and _After..._

* * *

**Part 5:**  
Falling**  
**a.k.a.  
**Preparing for the Beginning**

* * *

"So how long does this last??" he asked one morning. "It never occurred to me to ask..."

"Hm? Oh, you mean the pregnancy? Well, if we were on Vegeta-sei, you'd have seven cycles left. Here on earth...I'm guessing...another three months."

Days on their home planet were much different than they were here on earth. The days tended to be a much shorter, so a year wouldn't have been much time here. However, hearing his father tell him that he had only that much time left had sparked him into worrying overtime.

Another week had passed over them. Burdock and Vega had taken residence in their condo, opting to sleep in the guest room down the hall from their own. Vegeta was silently thankful that the rooms were soundproofed, having heard them inadvertently when they left the door open once. His mate had to rush and close the door--not that they noticed---and he fought not to retch up everything. Knowing their fathers were together was one thing, hearing them prove it was enough to scar them for life. He silently vowed then and there to make sure that they had a childproof lock placed on their door in case something like that happened to them. It wouldn't do for his children to grow up a little dented from seeing that.

At three months and a little over a week, Vegeta's stomach had rounded considerably. Before it was nothing more than a pooch of sorts. Now...now it looked as if he were stuffing a small beach ball under his shirt. Looking down at himself, he frowned a little as he rubbed the growing mound. Oh god...it was going to keep growing wasn't it?! He almost moaned pathetically and whined to himself. If he was this big now...

"Hey babe. What's the matter?"

He quickly rid himself of his woes and shook his head. No use in having his mate baby him over...."Nothing."

"You sure?"

"Hai. I'm well."

He leaned over and pecked him lightly on the lips. "Good. You need anything extra from the store?" He shook his head and smiled a bit as his mate planted another kiss on the side of his head. "Okay. I'll bring the phone in case you change your mind."

Correction: WHEN he changed his mind. He nodded and kissed him farewell, a light touch of his forehead and a firm rub of his swelling belly a fond goodbye for the father of their unborn children. Burdock joined him and waved a quick goodbye himself, leaving Vegeta and Vega alone. They listened to the sounds of the car starting up and leaving, and waited until they could no longer hear it running in the distance.

"Okay, he's gone," Vegeta sighed. Vega nodded and promptly dropped the paper he was reading to join his son on the couch. "What did you want to talk to me about?"

"Well, you see--"

* * *

"--son, I've got a little problem on my hands...and I need your help."

Goku blinked thoughtfully as he turned the car onto the highway. "What's the matter??"

"We've been down here a little while, and we've been using the communicator to relay to the ship that we're fine. Unfortunately," he growled venomously in the next breath, "That THING and a few choice elites are coming down to see for themselves."

"Thing?? Oh...OH! You mean that Cabba guy right?"

"RIGHT. I need him to back the hell off of Vega without me killing him because Vega would have my head if I did anything of the sort."

Goku thought about it switching into a faster lane. "Um...why not mark him?"

"Because....he's been marked already....by Vegeta's father."

Goku turned off onto the ramp he needed to get off of and drove the car strait into the morning traffic on its way to work. It wasn't as slow as it could be, but it was slow enough for him to turn his head and ask him what the hell he was talking about. Burdock let out a light groan of exasperation. There was no getting out of this. If he wanted help, he was going to have to explain. Hopefully Vega wouldn't leave him a bloody mess for it.

"Remember how I said Vegeta was Vega's only heir??"

"Yeah...why?"

"Well, Vega...used to be married to the true king of Vegeta-sei, King Valdez. Valdez and he were married when Vega was young. It was an arranged marriage between houses, because the house of Valdez was left with only Valdez himself and his ailing mother. There was no one else to rule, and no one to claim title in the death of Valdez. So, the queen chose a house she felt would bear strong young, and had them married before turning over the crown to him."

"What's this got to do with you?"

"Nothing...yet. I was still an upcoming third-class at the time. I had no desires to mate. I just wanted to get stronger. I didn't know Vega, and I wouldn't know him until I had gotten into the elites...but, that's besides the point. Vega and Valdez were married, but since it was arranged, there was no love or love loss. Vega did his part as queen for the most part. He attended every function the king attended, dined with him at dinner, and shared his bed...but they never **slept** together. Valdez was too busy trying to thwart off the other houses, and Vega was powerless in his position. He was queen, yes, but he wasn't in charge. Valdez had the final say and that was that.

I believe...one day...Valdez had been confronted by another house. A member of a lower house had the nerve to approach him and try their best to seduce him into their bed. At that point, I was a grunt training in the guard for a spell, so I happened upon the altercation. I didn't know the reason behind it until later, but I think that was the turning point for Vega."

"What happened?"

"Valdez had grabbed the guy by his neck and made a nice hole in the ground with his ass is what. Vega was around to see that much. He'd come looking for Valdez to tell him of some news or another. In any case, I stood there with the rest of my squad as Valdez literally stomped the living shit out of that idiot and said, _'you will not insult MY queen in such a manner!! He is a true saiyan, and unlike you I have great respect for him. It takes much courage to marry into a dying house, and bearing titles with limited power is harder still! If not for him, I would have had no hope to live this long...'_. He said a bunch of other things, mainly things related to castrating the bastard. Vega managed to stop Valdez from doing so though. Right there, right there in the middle of the court yard where I was standing, those two kissed.

The next thing I know...Vega's expecting Vegeta."

"Wow...so...what happened to him?"

It didn't take two and two to figure it out. That dark look upon his father's face was every bit as brooding as the king's when he mentioned one name. "Frieza happened," he spat quietly. "Frieza came into the picture and tried to take Vegeta a month after he was born. Valdez fought him off, but he was killed for his efforts. Naturally Vega fell into power...and since Vegeta was all he had left, he was willing to do anything to keep him alive."

"But Frieza stole him anyway...and still tried to kill Vega and the rest of you..."

"Right. Slavery if you want to call it that. Vega and I worked together trying to over throw him and got our asses handed to us. After the decimation of our planet, there was nothing left. We only had one choice, and that was taking the remaining saiyans over to our sister planet Vegeta-sai. Vegeta-sai was where we sent our hidden elites and warriors that were able to hide their powers. We went there...and Vega and I met up in the medical ward. Valdez's mark was there upon his chest, right over his heart. Vega was out cold, but his hand stayed over that mark. I knew he was grieving...since Vegeta was the first and only child he had by Valdez. Both were gone...so there was nothing to hold onto."

"So...how's that affecting you now??"

"Well, being bonded is a complex matter. When you bond, the mark the dominant one leaves is their link to each other. Normally that link isn't used unless the submissive one is in trouble. That bond, however, is your claim over that person, and that person's house. Marks of royalty are truly rare, since the king doesn't necessarily bond with his queen. The queen is there to establish a legitimate heir and that's it."

"So, what's the problem?"

"If...I were to mark him, he would lose Valdez's mark. It's the only thing that's kept him going all these years...and as much as I would LOVE to fuck him into submission, I won't take that away from him."

Goku swallowed the urge to vomit and grinned balefully at nothing. There were just SOME images that didn't need to be visualized. He pulled out of traffic and onto the main street at a red light. It seemed no one had an easy life, least of all the major players in the game. He never would have expected that Vegeta's father had such a past. He permeated the title of royalty. That air about him all but yelled that he was of noble blood and would not settle for being treated less than such. One would have expected the same pompous attitude Vegeta was infamous for at times, but as with all things, there was a reason behind such fronts.

As much as he wanted to deny it, he knew Vegeta had a past that needed to be dealt with. Being here on earth had calmed him some throughout the years, but he still had many insecurities. He didn't have to feel it through their bond to know. It was in his daily worries about their lives and this latest addition to their already dysfunctional makeshift family.

The light changed and he glanced at the bus moving aside him. A light flipped on.

"Dad, I think I've got something..."

* * *

"....was it painful??"

"Of course it was painful!" he griped. He took another sip of his drink, glad for the burn inside of that fruity farce known as orange juice. His son sat at his side with a normal glass in front of him. Having added commodities even in this situation was not good for either his son or his future grandkids. "Back then all I had was a midwife and someone telling me to blow through the pain. MY ASS," Vega snorted. "That breathing thing works for the first part of the labor...then you want to smash the first thing you can think of! I believe...your father walked out with a black eye that night...but he was grinning."

"....he sounded like a good man."

"He was...and I miss him terribly at times...but...Burdock..."

Vegeta rested a comforting hand upon his father's. Vega squeezed lightly, appreciative of the gesture.

The whole story had come spilling out the moment Vega had asked to talk to him. He wasn't the least bit prepared to hear about his true father, let alone the fact that his father was indeed his _**mother**_. That was reason enough to break out the alcohol, though it was more or less for his fa-mother trying to come to terms with what he was telling his son. Had he not been expecting his mate's children, he would have been right alongside his mother trying to calm his nerves. Since that wasn't going to change its status, he found himself questioning his mother's pregnancy with him under the midst of trying to figure out their newest little issue. He quietly eyed his juice, at a loss for words.

Why was life so freaking complicated?!

"So...Burdock...wants to mark you, but...he won't take dad's mark from you?" he asked silently.

"Yes. He knows...he knows I loved Valdez with my very soul...but that was so long ago. I miss your father, but...I let him go a very long time ago."

"So...why's it so vital to mark you??"

"Hnnn....Cabba's coming down here with some elites, and Burdock HATES Cabba's advances towards me. Unfortunately, he's free to do so unless I've been claimed by a house of a living person or vice versa. Being pregnant by him doesn't help the situation either--"

"Wait, WHAT?!"

Vega blinked and blushed when he realized what he said aloud. Sometimes grousing aloud wasn't such a good thing. "Um..."

"Mom!!"

"What?! I didn't know until a week ago..."

"Does Burdock know?!"

* * *

"Of course I know!"

"So you know, but he doesn't know that you know..."

"Yeah. Vega's always been like that. He never says anything until the last moment when there's no other option."

Goku pondered this as Burdock glanced down at the display case. For humans, their taste in jewelry was rather fine. The clerk--a kind looking girl who was easily smitten-- reached into the glass casing and grasped the ring he was eying alongside the price. He gasped at both, clearly taken by the fine quality and the amount they were asking for. If anything, that price a was a living crime!

"I'll take it!"

"Dad, that's a little expensive..."

"What?! Please, this is cheap compared to what some planets charge for something like this!" Burdock exclaimed. "Besides, being a general pays well."

"Huh. Do me a favor and DON'T let my mate see that."

"Hm? Why? The one on his hand is just as good."

"Because---"

* * *

"--we haven't set the date for the wedding yet! And its bad enough that my fingers are getting swollen, but there is no way in hell that I'm marching down the aisle in anything less than my dress!"

Vega stopped pouring the orange juice and eyed his son. "Your dress?"

"What, did you think I was getting married in a suit? Get real."

"Uh-huh."

"What?!"

"Nothing, nothing. So, have you thought about getting a house?"

* * *

"We've thought about it, but buying a house and LIKING a house are two different things."

Burdock munched on his hotdog and nodded. Were these really dogs? "I understand. Sometimes living in the palace is a real pain."

"I can imagine."

"God, its hard enough trying to keep this relationship going without having the other elites smirking at you...not that I don't have a reason to smirk."

"Way too much information, thank you!"

Burdock shrugged and finished off the rest of his meal. He chucked the garbage in the bin and walked off with his son down the massive corridor of a little place known as the mall. For a mall, this place was pretty impressive. At least is wasn't as big as some places tended to be on certain planets. "Anyway, privacy is next to nil, and having to beat the shit out of everyone that even looks in his direction is getting boring," he said. "It'd be nice to have someplace else to live...someplace AWAY from that little...GRR!!"

Goku chuckled a bit and nudged his growling father. "Cabba must have really rubbed you wrong."

"It's all a can do not to---"

* * *

"--strangle the poor bastard. Oh! Sire, I do hope you're alright..."

He could just see Cabba's tongue wagging with that tail of his. It had to be. If it wasn't he was sure something else was wagging in lieu of his sweet overbearing concern. Snorting at the image planted behind his corneas, Vegeta eyed his father rolling his eyes skyward. There wasn't anyone else to see aside them, so he stuck out his tongue as the saiyan on the other line kept talking. Didn't he ever shut up?

"Sire...is Burdock with you?"

What business of it was his? Vega kindly placed his hand over his son's mouth before it got the better of them. "Actually he's running an errand for me," he answered. "Did you need to speak with him?"

"Actually, no. I wanted to see if he was minding you like he's supposed to."

"More like you wanted to find out if my mom was alone," Vegeta muttered. Vega shushed him despite his smirking.

"Sire??"

"Never mind. When are you getting here? I have something important to relay."

"We should be there in another hour or so. I trust these directions Burdock relayed are correct?"

* * *

"I had no choice! Vega would have shot me to pieces if I got them lost...forget me having to locate those...idiots."

"Too bad. Hey, try this on!"

Burdock caught the piece of clothing and eyed it. It looked decent enough. In their aimless wandering of the mall, his son had ducked into this clothing department with the epiphany that if he was going to do this, then he might as well look the part. Of course that meant removing the headband, shucking the t-shirt and jeans and swapping them for at least eight hundred zeny in clothing. They spent the better part of the hour plucking things off of the racks and shoving them places. Some remained in the dressing room, others were thrown back out at the waiting male clerk. He looked to be at his limit, but stayed for the necessity of his job. Burdock snorted eying him out of the corner of his sharp gaze. Teenagers were the same no matter where you lived.

"How's this?"

Goku stepped back to take in the full image of his father from head to toe. Shoes, pants, shirt, accessories...all of it looked good. But there was something missing...something that could complete that professional image--

"Hair..."

"What?"

"Hair!! Come on, I've got an Idea!"

Goku hastily told the clerk to ring up everything sitting in the dressing room as he snatched his father out of it. Burdock could only think of two things at the word **hair **and **idea.** Either his son was going to get someone to do something outrageous to his spiked head, or he was going to shave it off.

After seeing what could be done to hair, he was all for cutting. He sincerely hoped that this wasn't going to be the biggest goof-up in his life's choices.

"I'm getting too old for this..."

* * *

**One hour later....**

Pink. His hair was pink. Not that baby pink that girls thought to be adorable on anything they placed it on, and not that hot pink that was notoriously placed upon the effeminate queers or drag queens who couldn't pull off the color to save their heavily mascara lined faces. No. It was...just PINK. That pink that you just can't place a label on. It wasn't ugly, but it wasn't cute. That smile on his face was probably a good match for that color. It wasn't inviting, but it wasn't mean or evil in that sense. Misleading, hell yes. There was no way in the entire freaking universe that anyone with three brain cells could not see through that thing plastered so pleasantly on his face. The only way someone would or could fall for that naturally planted farce was to be stupidly drunk or suffering from a lack of oxygen.

He thought he was on the verge of the second one with that scent killing the fresh air. What the hell did he do, bath in the stuff?!

"Oh, sire! I've been terribly worried about you!" he exclaimed. "Is everything all right?? Have you been treated well??"

Vega mustered up a grin from someplace and nodded. "Yes, Cabba. We've been well taken care of."

"I'm glad. So, you've been staying...here??"

Vega had to keep a firm hold of Vegeta as the growl came rolling from his throat. "My host has been kind enough to let me stay with him here," he replied throwing Vegeta the **look**. Vegeta withered and muttered something under his breath. He turned his gaze away from the pink haired freak and crossed his arms hotly. Vega watched him in amusement. He pouted more often these days. "His mate owns the place."

Cabba nodded and looked over the place. The three elites he had brought with him remained standing or seated in the kitchen at the island. Refreshments had been poured and offered thankfully. Two of them were still nursing their second helping while the third kept his gaze on Vega. Vega glanced at him briefly and barely kept himself from smiling. It didn't stop the elite from smiling though. In fact, he down right grinned.

"Well I'll be damned," he muttered silently. "That dog..."

Cabba was too engrossed in observing his surroundings to notice the exchange. His nose scrunched itself up a bit in distaste as he happened upon the decor known to them as the living room. A simple couch of black animal hide, the matching arm chair and love seat, two night stands and a glassware coffee table littered with magazines...all examples of someone who wasn't but so wealthy. He didn't dare glimpse in the direction of the dinning room. He had a feeling that he would have had heart failure knowing that his king was eating off of such mediocre accommodations.

"It's....quaint," he offered smiling. "Very...homely."

"It's suitable for the moment."

**//Mom, don't you start...//**

**_\\What? You know you can't have twin babies in here. They'll destroy everything!\\_**

**//And your excuse?!//**

_**\\I don't have to quite think about that just yet, do I?\\**_

Vegeta threw his father/mother a glowering look. Just because he wasn't as rotund as he happened to be didn't mean he could parade it around!

Unbelievably, Cabba still hadn't paid Vegeta much if any mind. He was still in his mind's appraisal of the accommodations given to the king during his stay here. The elites, however, were looking at him earnestly. Vega turned his attention towards them, nodding slightly to the question bubbling under their solemn exteriors. It was exactly what they thought and nothing less.

"Where's Burdock?" Cabba asked looking about. "I thought he would have been back by the time we arrived..."

"He and our other host should be back soon..."

"No, they're back now," Vegeta exclaimed. He moved past his (jeez, what to call him?) mother, and shoved Cabba aside in his haste to get to the door. Cabba opened his mouth and abruptly shut it.

"Oh my god..."

Vegeta ignored the sounds of enlightenment coming too late and pried open the door. Goku stood on the other side of it with his key in hand, his bags in the other, and Burdock standing behind him holding groceries and bags of his own. Both saiyans walked into the house only to be stopped short by the sight of four guests.

One of the elites, the one whom had assessed the situation long beforehand, had the common sense to rush in and grab those bags from Burdock before he could crush them. The other elites stood by anxiously, wondering what would become of this place in a few moments. With the history between Burdock and Cabba, if this place didn't go sky high the universe had twisted itself!

"Ah, Burdock...nice to see you've rejoined us."

Burdock bit back the insult on his tongue. "I had some errands to run. Have you been here long?"

If that smile got any tighter, Vegeta was going to have to peel it off of his face. "Actually, we arrived here a few moments ago."

"And how long are you staying?"

"Just long enough to make sure everything's in order. People are beginning to wonder at our lord's absence."

Vega scoffed. "Please. The other houses are capable of doing well on their own."

"Sire, you know as well as I do that the houses get antsy when you haven't made an appearance in a while. I don't understand why you've decided to stay here for vacation anyway. I'm sure we could have booked a nice visit to the shores of Theta Fi 9. "

"And have those females looking for a free piece of meat? I think **not**," Burdock muttered.

Cabba finally lost his smile. His hands were on his hips faster than that pink could blind someone. "This was your idea, wasn't it?"

"What?!"

"Instead of bringing him BACK, you let him stay here! In such...meager settings no less!"

"Why you sack of--"

"Your job is to protect the king, not let him flounder about here!"

"--shit! I can't believe you at times you--"

"You may be the strongest of the elites but sometimes you are the thickest--"

"--unbelievable moron!"

"Exactly!"

Goku was all for snatching Vegeta out of the way. He would have done so had Vega not made his way past Cabba and over to Burdock on the verge of blowing this place sky high. He took his crackling hands into his own, pressed himself into his stiffened stature, and laid his head against his frowning one. It was always enough to calm the elite down, and this time was no different. Burdock's demeanor faded from rage into his own slight version of nirvana, the kings hands trailing up alongside his broad arms as he inhaled the soft scent of cologne against his neck. A soft kiss was placed on the underside of his chin, soon joined with a smile that was unmistakable. He didn't notice his own arms coming to curl around his waist, pressing their bodies that much closer . The firm feel of Vega, his smile warming itself against his chin and his hands losing themselves in his hair was enough to render that pink-haired freak null and void of his senses.

"Did you miss me?"

Burdock grinned a little with a nod. "Always."

He took a moment to process the sight that had been in his mind the moment he saw him free of those bags. His arms twined about his neck, rested upon a nice white dress shirt accented with the red and black pattern silk vest hugging his frame in all the right places. Where those jeans used to reside snuggly on his frame rested a well tailored pair of designer slacks. He was pretty sure that those feet were dressed up rather nicely in something to complete his new look, but that wasn't what sealed it. He looked up. Burdock tilted his head just a bit. It dawned on him then.

"Your hair...you shaved off the back..." he mused running his fingers through the shortened locks. He rubbed the sides of his ears gently, loving the way his elite purred at his curious touch. It never ceased to amaze him just how soft this head of hair was upon a body that told stories of hardships. It reminded him of the down of their pillows back home in the palace--that soft presence under his tired head looking up at Burdock smiling down. Nights like those often led them down a familiar path of calloused fingers made to fight tracing intricate patterns upon scars that would never fade. They danced alongside lips--lips that ever so kindly paid homage to every inch of skin--skin pressed against the firm body of a man whom had seen as much in their time with one another. And every time, every single time he found himself looking up into that kind and loving stare, his fingers always lingered over the mark left upon his heart.

That mark bound them, and left them a few millimeters short of being complete. He moved himself a little closer and nuzzled the side of his face, his tail flicking lightly in a careless manner behind him. Was there anyway...anyway at all to end this madness?

"Vega??"

"I like it."

"You do?"

Vega moved a little closer and whispered against his lips, "Yeah...I do." The soft wisp of his heated whispers were more than enough incentive to steal them in a kiss that would leave them breathless.

It left a certain advisor breathless too.

"What the--?!"

"SHUT UP you," Vegeta growled towards Cabba. Cabba did a double take as Goku stood aside him with his fists drawn. What was this, some sort of parallel dimension?! That had to be it. There was no other reason! Cabba quickly regained some of his senses, but not enough to step back when Goku stood in his way. He made to shove him to get to the king, but Goku moved with him....all three tries.

"Would you kindly remove yourself from my presence?!" Cabba snapped.

"Tell you what. Why don't you just shut up and watch?" Goku smirked.

"Watch what?!"

Their attentions quickly turned to Burdock falling to the ground with Vega plastered to him. Aside his head rested an empty black box, open for all to see that something precious once resided in it. That something precious glimmered under the lights of the condo, fitted perfectly to the hand linked in his own. Vega lifted his head a bit as if to kiss the deliriously happy man, but he chose to rest his head on his chin and whisper, "I'll do it...but only..."

"But...only what?"

"....only if....you unchain me. I've lived with it long enough...and have waited just as long..."

Houses would be shifted. That mark was the beginning of something. Removing it would erase and bring an end to that era, leaving their fates in the hands of an elite who once was believed to have been the strongest. "....are you sure??" he asked quietly. He held his breath anxiously as Vega lifted himself a bit more and looked him in the eye. Taking away something like this was not to be taken lightly. Such a mark would never be brandished again, and by asking he--an elite once of third class--to claim him in such a manner was asking him to take hold of a future no one could be certain about. He searched his eyes, wondering, dreading, probing for some clue of uncertainty.

He found none.

Time and a bit of strange luck had given the universe hope through the sons they had lost so many years ago. Vega sat up and brought Burdock with him. He took his hand and twined it with his christened one, only to place it over his stomach. It was their time...and it was their time to thrive in an era of change. This was his silent way of saying so, and in no uncertain terms telling everyone that he was no longer interested in upholding the traditions of the past. He wanted to live, and live he would with someone who cherished him enough to leave him chained to a memory that was taken too soon.

"Unless you want your next child to be considered nothing more than a means of reproduction, I suggest you get to it," Vega smirked.

The elites, Vegeta, Goku, and a gaping Cabba watched them remove themselves from the floor and laugh their way into their room. The door shut itself and left everyone who wasn't Vega and Burdock to fend for themselves.

Cabba promptly sought the refuge of the floor. The others peered or glared down at the passed out saiyan.

Vegeta took that moment to kick him in his side.

"Serves you right asshole."

"Vegeta!"

"What?! He called our house HOMELY..."

"Huh...is that so?"

The elites left well enough alone and poured themselves another drink.

* * *

Part 6 coming soooon~~!


	7. Dreams and Nightmares

Okay yeah...It's been a hot minute. My apologies folks! :)

Picking up from the last chapter...I believe I have two pregnant saiyans and might have a third. It really depends...on what I plan to do with Cabba. EG

* * *

Knocked UP

Standard Disclaimers:

I don't own anyone in the DBZ saga, nor do I seek to gain profit from it.  
I DO, however, seek to giggle my head off in glee as I put certain characters through the joys of...

*dramatic pause*

PARENTHOOD

**Before** and _After..._

**Part 6:**  
**Dreams and Nightmares  
**a.k.a.  
That nightmare we all know as "Cravings!"

The early morning found an audience consisting of five looking down at a party of one gawking at the announcement from the royalty sitting before them. The party of one sat perfectly still, his jaw hung open and his mind unable to process the thought of it actually happening. It couldn't have been happening! It just couldn't!

"I...I...I've got to what?" he stammered through the shock. The stiff nature of his stance was slowly slackening into realization, his body falling and soon sinking down in the chair alongside his mind and any hope of this being nothing more than a bad dream. He wanted to blame it on that last drink he had poured himself, but even something as strong as what he had forced down wasn't enough to erase this nightmare.

Burdock—despite his feelings and the urge to do worse things than what he was doing—fought back a smirk. He leaned back against the cushions of the couch, his face neutral and composed as if this was nothing more than business. Vega, on the other hand, took no hold of such proper mannerisms. He fell to lean against Burdock's strong side, purring softly as Burdock's arm snaked its way around his waist. One slight tug had them close, Vega's head resting on Burdock's bare shoulder and a hand resting against his chest. He was all for closing his eyes then, but the compulsion to giggle was too much.

If it were at all possible, Cabba's eyes shrank even more.

"I believe I said..." Burdock explained yet again, "That you are to tend to the prince's every wish from now until I say you can leave. It's either that, or you can redeem yourself properly for insulting his house."

"And I don't think you want that," Goku mentioned lightly from where he was standing. Vegeta was standing near him, his hands resting protectively over the three month bulge that was doomed to get even bigger. His focus, however, wasn't on the fluttering children getting too comfortable on his bladder. It didn't take a genius to know that the nonchalant innocent look was nothing more than a farce in order to mask that calculating mind. Goku could only wonder at whatever his mate was thinking about. It wasn't going to be pretty, that much was certain.

Cabba swallowed the lump in his throat.

"So, from now on," Vega mentioned lazily, "You adhere to Burdock. As for me...I think I'll just lie here and enjoy my status."

Which meant that he still had just as much power but was no longer up for grabs. That much was made **very** clear with the symbols of Burdocks claim in plain sight. The simple ring of platinum and white gold twined against each other intimately around his finger fought to showcase the three five karat diamonds nestled into them. Vega, thoroughly loving his new position, smiled at it. It was just like Burdock to try and think of some other way to make him his own.

"La sono come l'amore di fairing?"

"Multa."

"Ed il bambino?"

Vega smiled again and leaned up to kiss his mate. "It's too soon to tell," he chuckled. "But I believe they will be strong."

Burdock smiled gently and lightly rubbed the marked arm resting against him. It was one of three marks, the others hidden in intimate areas only Burdock was privileged to see. "So set on having more than one," he laughed softly. He placed his lips on the smiling cheek. "Five or one, I'll be happy either way."

"Burdock..."

"I love you..."

"I love you, too..."

*THUD*

It was too much for the advisor. He lay sprawled out on the ground ashen faced and oblivious to the chortles coming from around the room. The three elites who hadn't said much of anything, relaxed immediately and plopped down wherever they could.

"Finally!" one of the elites cried aloud. "Jeez, I thought he would never pass out!"

"Tell me about it," the second muttered. "Damn it, he's persistent."

"More like unconscious, if you ask me," the third chortled. "Hope he didn't crack the back of his head."

"IF he did, may his sense of fashion have dwindled down to something tolerable!" Burdock snorted. "Pink uniforms...feh!"

"Okay! Now that he's out, can we have introductions?" Goku requested. He motioned to the three elites that haven't been known for anything other than the fact that they were...elites. It was a little weird having people in the house that slept over and you still didn't know their name in the morning. It might as well have been a one night stand!

The first elite was clearly the eldest of the bunch. It was hard to place an age on him, but he was fairly old with the gray mess of hair upon his head and trapped in the fur of his tail. A single eye was left to peer upon them. The other was scarred and left no trace of its former self. An eerie blind blue peered alongside the onyx, a sly smile coming to curl just beneath as he stood up. He wasn't complete muscle, but he had enough of it-alongside his many scars-to prove just why he was an elite.

"My name is Brock," he announced bowing slightly in his respects. His uniform became almost a second skin against him as he moved, crinkling and tightening with every slight movement. Despite this, the fabric did little to let them see what was really underneath the garment. Unlike the uniforms Frieza was infamous for making EVERYONE wear, this suit was fashioned much like earth's high ranking militia. The fabric was black in color, decorated only by the insignia of the house he belonged to written on the back of his shirt. There were a set of dog-tags that dangled from his neck and a couple of ranking pins sitting neatly on the side of his collar. It was anyone's guess just how high his status was, but they were pretty confident that it didn't much matter what that was. He abruptly lifted his head back and let out a mighty laugh aimed at Burdock sitting cozily on that couch.

"Burdock, you dog!" he laughed. "Not telling us about this little surprise!"

"Well, you know Vega," Burdock chuckled. "Don't ask, don't tell!"

That got a laugh out of Brock and the second elite. The third simply snorted but smiled anyhow.

The second stood up of his own volition, stretched his arms over his head and grunted working the kinks out of his back. He was much younger than the other two. His hair was surprisingly a golden hue, a rarity even if he was a super saiyan. There was no way to tell that though. He was happy enough to keep them in the dark, his attention on the laughter of his superior ringing throughout the room. He was wearing the same uniform, with a similar symbol dressed upon his backside. His was nowhere near as tight though, as he wasn't as muscular as his comrades.

That didn't mean he wasn't dangerous within his own rights. He had to have been in order to be within the Elite Guard for Vega. For now, his cheery demeanor came through as he waved toward Goku and Vegeta. "Don't mind Brock," he chuckled. "He and Burdock go way back."

"Is that so? So, who are you to say so?" Vegeta asked.

"Me? Oh, the name is Gin. This one here is my dear old uncle."

"Old I am, but never too old to whip your ass!" Brock exclaimed.

"Please, boys…let's not ruin my son's house…today anyhow," Burdock grinned. "It is a day of celebration after all."

Goku noticed the faint scar upon Gin's arms; a badge of sorts when it came to fighting like they did. It was rather ugly scar, but fit him somehow. So did his not so light punch into Brock's shoulder when he ruffled Gin's head. "Take it easy on this old soul!" Brock laughed. "I'm not as young as I used to be!"

"But you just said—oh, shut up!"

The third elite, used to their antics, laughed to himself. He reminded them a lot of a surfer type beach bum with his lax attitude, but his eyes gave it away of how sharp he truly was. His hair was tied back into a simple messy bundle of spikes. He rubbed the top of that black mess lightly, smiling a bit through the rugged goatee dressing his mouth and chin. Even his uniform was lax in nature, not quite fitting him but not falling off of him. It was an odd combination, even more so when he found a toothpick nearby and popped it into his mouth. The whole scene was off putting to someone who didn't stop to think about what was in front of them. He was lean and sculpted, but one couldn't tell that with the state of his dress and his whole air of nonchalance.

Goku found a type of kindred spirit in this one. He knew too well of the airs of idiocy and just where it could land someone.

"Oi, this silent one here is Baras," Gin said. "He doesn't speak much."

"I speak plenty," Baras corrected, "when the time calls for it."

"He certainly spoke when Cabba was talking about the change in uniform," Vega chuckled. "I don't know who was madder, him or Burdock."

Baras and Burdock snorted in reply. "My king, with all due respect I believe that was justified," Baras said. "Had Burdock not acted in such a fashion, I might have…and then we'd be one advisor short."

"We still might be," Burdock muttered.

"I didn't see a thing my lord…except the untimely misfortune of one lone advisor who happened to walk in front of someone's fist…if you catch my drift?"

Brock guffawed and laughed until he cried. Gin was no better, though he leaned on a smirking Baras for support. There was a story there that they weren't telling, one that the new King and his mate were highly amused by and didn't object to. Vega buried himself into Burdock's embrace, the mirth rippling off of him with every shake of his shoulders. One look at Cabba on the floor had them all in hysterics, and Goku pondering what the inside joke was.

"Mmm, I suppose I should…change that excuse a little since I've used it…twice?" Baras mused. "It's not my fault that he happened to walk into me with my fist out is all. Bad timing. Extremely bad."

Goku, a little stunned at the revelation, saw Baras in a light he'd seen before in one of his own. "I think we should introduce Gohan to him," he said, getting a full nod from his mate. Vegeta could see it as well and there was no denying it the longer he sat there and looked at Baras. There wasn't an inch of apology in his gaze, though he feigned like it was a complete accident. It reminded him more of his mate than anything, but the resemblance to Gohan was a little uncanny. "I think it might blow his mind a little."

"And who is this Gohan person you would inquire me to meet?" Baras asked.

Vegeta got up and started rummaging for the phone. He couldn't take it a second longer. "He's my eldest boy," Goku said, trying not to laugh too much as his mate started mumbling to himself. "I think you'd get along with one another…or fight until someone wins. Who knows? Either way, it's entertainment."

Vega knocked Burdock in his shoulder as the newly dubbed king laughed. "That is definitely YOUR boy."

Baras seemed to agree. He grinned lightly at the thought of what meeting this Gohan would be like. He had no doubt that it would not be boring. "I suppose I should assume that there is no objection to visitors, huh Cabba?"

Cabba, still unconscious, didn't object. Nor did he object to Vegeta marching over him to hand Goku the phone.

* * *

It was nearly dinner time when the doorbell rung. Goku looked up from his task at the stove. There was nothing left to be done other than to let the sauce thicken, which he did when he turned the stove off. He wasn't surprised to see the elites tense a little bit on his way to answer the door. During their little reprieve this afternoon while Cabba was unconscious, they traded stories, battles, and techniques by mouth. They wanted to do more, but Vegeta was having none of it. Goku, well aware of what a hormonal mate could do, hadn't argued. For that, Burdock had patted him on the back and took that lesson to heart.

His tales of fighting had struck a chord with Baras and Brock. They were well aware that he was indeed a strong saiyan by right, but hearing it and seeing it were two different things. They didn't question it aloud, but they were dying to see him in action. Gin was more curious about how he managed to gain those levels in such a short period of time. When Goku told him, Gin was already planning a take a small trip to the lookout…with Goku's company of course.

Either way, with their new King and Vega here and quite…occupied with one another, and hearing of Goku's enemies and how they popped up randomly, they readied themselves for anything that could come through those doors.

"Am I late?"

But there wasn't much that could prepare Baras for what he saw walking into their temporary housing. As such, he swallowed convulsively and tried not to bite his tongue.

"Right on time." Goku stepped to the side and let his son in, as well as his granddaughter when she hopped in after him. "We're having Spaghetti. Vegeta's been craving it."

"At least it's only that," Gohan said. "I'm afraid what it might be later on. I hope you like running."

"Oh…I don't think I have to worry about that much. By the way…we have guests."

Gohan was the first to pop in, dressed in his usual attire of slacks and dress shirt rolled up at the sleeves. His hair was a mess and he looked like he needed a stiff drink, or something to eat from the way his stomach rumbled. Pan was no better. Her stomach growled a little louder and got a laugh from Brock and Gin sitting at the table. Introductions were made, and all seemed peaceful…until Goku swung Gohan around and turned him towards Baras who had lost the ability to speak.

Baras was too focused on trying not to let his jaw unhinge itself. It would have been most unbecoming.

"And this," Goku said patting his son heavily on the back, "Is Baras. He doesn't speak much."

Gohan didn't seem to mind it much. He took Baras's slackened hands into his own and shook them. "I'm sure he'll have plenty to say after spending an evening here," he joked. "I hope your trip here wasn't uncomfortable."

That small short circuit to his brain resolved itself then and there as the trip down here to this planet replayed itself vividly. "Spending time with Cabba is enough to make anything uncomfortable," he muttered. Brock and Gin smothered their giggles. Burdock was quite open about his dislike for Cabba, but Baras was a close second. "Gah, if I had to watch the love sick fool throw himself at his imagination gone bonkers one more time, I would have shoved my very real foot up his very real and untouched ass…aw hell." He hadn't meant to say all that aloud. "Um…"

"Wow, whoever this Cabba is, you must really not like him!" Gohan laughed.

Baras relaxed a little, and willed his brain to function just a little longer. "He's…an acquired taste."

"I heard that you brute!" Cabba was on the scene faster than light through a window and blinding Pan with his hair even faster. "I'll have you know that I am no longer a virgin!"

"Fucking the pillows doesn't count," Brock snickered.

"Wow…his hair is pink…" Pan mused. "Like…really…really PINK. Is that shade natural?"

Gin smirked and shook his head. "Nah."

"Shut up!" Cabba snapped. "My hair is the latest fashion in space, unlike that blonde monstrosity atop that thick cumbersome skull!"

"More like the latest way to get a seizure." Pan rubbed her eyes and eventually wound up averting them all together. "Jeez…I may never look at bubble gum the right way again." How could anything that color exist without something trying to erase it? She didn't know and she certainly didn't want to figure it out, not that Cabba was going to tell her or that she would let him.

Rather, she had the chance to see her Grandfather in action with that simple grin on his face with his left eyebrow twitching a bit. "All right, now that we've all met, let's sit down and eat!" He grabbed the advisor by his shoulders, turned him around and shoved him out of the dining room. "Guys, you just sit there and talk. I'll get dinner on the table. Come on Cabba…I got a job for you."

Cabba tried in vain to turn himself around. That grip on his shoulders was too strong and a bit too painful for him to do so without bruising something. His mouth, on the other hand, worked perfectly. "Unhand me you—foul thing!" he cried. "Do you know who I am?"

"Yes…quite annoying." Goku shoved him a little more, letting go when he was tripping in the right direction. "Go get the others. When you come back, be prepared."

"And what do you mean by that?"

Cabba really shouldn't have asked him that. Then again, what Cabba didn't know would teach him to keep his mouth shut. Smiling stupidly, or what he assumed was stupid enough to keep Cabba thinking he was a simpleton, he walked off and dismissed the question with a, "You'll find out soon enough" motion of his hands.

The unknowing advisor dusted himself off, grumbling under his breath about uncouth barbarians ruining his perfectly pressed uniform. A proper saiyan would have smelt it long before getting to where he stood, and would have known better than to walk past the door that was halfway open. Since Cabba was too busy grumbling, he didn't use any of his senses. As such, he didn't notice where he was going until it was much too late, and there was little he could do to avert his eyes from the sight that greeted him.

One could only dream of having the king in such a position. It was a long unfulfilled dream of many, and few had gotten the pleasure to see it up close and hold it. Cabba was such a dreamer, although his dreams did not include Burdock lying back upon the pillows, his hands firmly gripping the moving hips of his new mate as he noisily climbed his way into a heated frenzy. It did not include watching as the former king muttered in their language to Burdock for him to "fuck him harder", nor did it include seeing the new king oblige.

Before his brain shorted out, he briefly realized a few things.

One: Burdock was HUGE.

Two: Burdock…was really THICK.

Three: Vega…wasn't dominant.

Four: Vega's ass was always what he dreamed it would be.

And Five: What did gum have to do with his hair?

His eyes rolled to the back of his skull the moment Vega let out a shuddering howl that left him a writhing mess on top of Burdock's pulsing cock. He hit the floor, **again**, and missed the triumphant look on Burdock's face seconds before Vega collapsed on top of him.

* * *

"I think he might be comatose…"

Pan was all for poking him with a stick. She had the perfect stick picked out too! Unfortunately her grandfather spoiled the fun and made her put the poker from the fireplace back in its holster. He did give her an umbrella, which wasn't as good but made do for the moment. She prodded that prone body again, giggling when he didn't move an inch.

"Hey, try poking him in the ass," Gin smirked. "He might wake up thinking he finally got some."

"Hey yeah!"

"**Don't** do it," Gohan warned. "At least…not while I'm in the room."

Gin and Pan pouted to themselves. Well, they pouted until Goku walked into the living room carrying a tray of snacks for them to chow down on. Dinner had been served, eaten, and praised. There was nothing left of it, and Goku considered that a good thing. He'd made enough for three armies. Vegeta had eaten a healthy dose of it, belching contentedly once his meal was gone. He'd sat back then, purring in total bliss as he rubbed the three month mound that was there to stay for another three months. Goku couldn't have been more pleased to know that his mate enjoyed it.

He stepped over Cabba, ignoring him for the moment. His comatose body had been dragged out here and left to slumber through dinner once Burdock decided that he didn't like having that pink head lying on his floor. They had yet to revive him, simply due to the fact that he was less annoying this way…and Burdock might have killed him. The tray was placed on the coffee table and left for everyone to indulge in.

Everyone accept Vegeta.

"Babe, I know you have that look on your face and I know what you want," Goku said. "But I'm out of strawberries. I'll have to go get some."

Vegeta shook his head. The strawberries and cottage cheese on rye wasn't going to cut it this time. "I don't want that," he said. "As much as I've enjoyed it…I really don't want that."

"No? Then…"

"I really don't know what I want…I want something sweet and sour…"

Pan innocently shoved a cookie in her mouth. "Sweet and sour? What, like pickles and ice-cream or some junk?" she mused.

"No, that's sweet and salty…" Vegeta corrected, "…but tempting. Oh, I know! Do we have any sour cream?"

"Sure," Goku said. "Plenty of it. Why?"

"I want that and rocky-road…oh, and I want those roasted almonds on top of it with some chili pepper."

Some people just have odd timing. Cabba was one of those people, snapping his eyes open and groaning softly to himself when his brain only clicked on halfway. Interestingly enough, he didn't leap up screaming about the outrage for something or other. Instead he tiredly looked to the left, then the right, and then lifted up a piece of his hair to his face. "Why is my hair pink?" he muttered. "And what am I doing…on the floor?"

"You," Goku said through the snickering of the others, "are on the floor because your brain doesn't function right. However, we're going to fix it."

"…we are?"

"Sure! All I need you to do is come with me."

He was yanking the pinked haired saiyan off of the floor and leading him into the depths of the kitchen in seconds. One of the benefits of being a fighter was getting to see certain things in action. Of those different incidents, this happened to be one of Goku's favorites. Burdock didn't have to inquire to know that Goku fully knew what he was doing. He had control of the situation, and surely when Cabba snapped out of it there would be no turning back for the annoying advisor.

He prayed silently that the noise level wouldn't reach ear splitting decimals.

"Is he alright?" Pan asked.

Burdock snorted despite Vega digging into his arm. "He's **fine**. He…tends to disconnect when he smacks his head…almost like a personality under a personality. I kind of like the broken one better."

"….excuse me?"

"It's simple my dear." Baras leaned back in his seat, full, comfortable, and no longer totally enraptured by the half saiyan sitting aside him. Well, almost. Who was going to know that but himself? And possibly the prince? "Cabba has a complex…when he smacks his head hard enough, he forgets about that idiotic self servant nature of his," he explained. "He reverts to someone who is completely confused, willing to go wherever, and possibly so laid back—holy shit, that's probably how he lost his virginity…"

"Not thinking about THAT," Gin said with a mighty shudder, "What he's saying is that when Cabba's head goes smack, the cooler Cabba comes back. Or the rude one. It depends really…"

"What, on how hard he smacked his head?"

"No, on how much trauma his brain took…**and** how hard he smacks his head," Brock chuckled. "It's quite amusing. It's part of the reason we hide it from people…"

Gohan wasn't being fooled by anyone. There was another reason behind it, one they weren't going to part with unless someone asked. So he did. He had nothing better to do. "What's the other reason?"

"He's unbelievably strong," Burdock groaned. He rubbed his face, annoyed, amused, and questioning why the little perks in life always had something fucked up behind them. Cabba was as fucked up as they came, and there was no clear answer as to why he just happened to be the way he was. Even so, that answer had his grandchild and his great-grandchild looking up at him incredulously. "I'm not kidding." He really wasn't. That was the not so funny part about it. "He is perhaps one of the stronger people in our court, only outranked by myself, and these three here. Vega wouldn't count because his power is unquestioned."

"Surely now the other courts would seek to question it, now that you are king," Baras stated.

"Only if they want to meet an early grave…and I'm not talking about what I'll do."

Brock grinned Vega's way; all of them were well aware of what would happen if such a thing occurred. It would be a royal blood bath. He couldn't wait for the first douche bag to try it.

_ "WHAT IN HEAVEN'S NAME ARE YOU MAKING? Is that…that even fit for consumption?"_

"And that would be Cabba snapping back to his senses." Gin sighed, and shook his head morosely. "It's not fair I tell you."

They had the pleasure of sitting there listening to Cabba's horrified voice of protest. It was similarly like listening to a cat howl at the closed door in outrage. It wasn't a pleasant sound, but it was quite funny. Even the normally stoic face of Vega broke down into hysterics the moment that pale terrified face came walking back into the room numbly, the utter disgust of what was about to happen clear as day on his face. Cabba swallowed uneasily as Goku neatly handed the recently made concoction to his expecting mate, and neatly swallowed the bile rushing up into his esophagus when Vegeta took a bite of it and hummed in pure ecstasy.

"And just think," Goku chirped none too nicely, "You get to make these until his craving changes! I hope you were paying attention."

He was. He was also paying attention to the back of his eyelids again, and paying homage to the god who invented blackouts. He'd never been gladder to hit the floor and enjoy the darkness.

Vegeta pelted his comatose body with a cookie. "Weakling."

* * *

Ah...more soon. :) And not two years from now. LOL


End file.
